It's been a tough couple of weeks for me.
Although there were a couple of small emotional wins, I started to suspect that this wasn't going to be the time of power and satisfaction that I originally had been counting on.
It became more of a time of vacillation and very poor decision making.
Instead of all those wonderful summer courses and ingenious money making schemes that seemed right there for the taking, my mind started to wonder to little bizarre thoughts like....."maybe i should spend the entire summer on the beach.....writing" or perhaps "a gun" might be a necessary apparatus in my life.
Where did this all come from? I had a beautiful new girlfriend, and a very supportive family, and some solid dynamic friends, but something felt strangely missing....
I developed a tooth ache and started to secretly criticize the very core of people I really admired for years....What was this all about?
Was going to see Lady Gaga for 10 minutes actually going to send me out to the bars again after a year of good health?
Why did I care that Justin Bieber was dating some girl I never heard of before? Or that Kate Middleton looked great when the wind blew her skirt up..... What was really going on psycho guy?
The best way to end this little ditty is to say thanks to my friend Liz who gave me a new acoustic guitar to try to get me out of my strange rut. What a thoughtful present..It really is selfless ideas that can bring you back from the brink..
It looks like I am almost back....What a strange and weird ride.
To anyone I doubted....I take responsibility for just being a coward and a child. Not that pretty for sure.
RL
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