THE SELFLESS HEART

Recently I was quite sick for a week or so, actually it manifested far before that, but the sickness part lasted about a week.



My Girlfriend came to live with me for about 5 days during the worst of the time.


I have to say that I was really amazed at how another human being can have so much compassion and love for a person that they really have only known for a relatively short time.


I was a grumpy, sweaty, self pitying imbecile (with a heart) most of the time.


To me, this was the very indication I needed that my life was over and if not completely over, certainly at the crossroads of all crossroads.


"This whole thing is horrible, it's sad and disgusting" I would blurt out.


In return, my Girlfriend would say something like " you will turn it around, you are a talented guy with incredible potential and this is just a test" Amazing I thought. She seems to really know that this is true and I am losing all my faith.


Now we did get to have our fun personal times of watching programs together,cuddling and cooking alot of healthy meals, but to me, it didn't make up for how much life seemed to "suck".


With all my optimism out the window, the toilet suddenly broke....Yes the toilet.
This didn't go over well with my ego.


Julie found humour in this toilet escapade at every corner and was often laughing uncontrollably at the irony involved. Especially at my gagging. I on the other hand saw it as a slap on the face from a higher power.


So while I griped about it, sweating in bed, I could here her in the washroom for hours trying to fix it. (Luckily it is working once more, how beautiful)


One day as I was sweating and moaning in bed, I observed my girl Julie, organizing and cleaning my entire place from top to bottom....It became like an obsession with her....She did the most thorough job ever in the history of mankind....I was dumbfounded.


I then begged her for a hug as I was feeling needy, and she said she would be right over, she was just a little sweaty, "give her a second".

She took my selfishness and made it seem silly but not pathetic.


The point I am trying to make is that I am so amazed by this special person and her big heart and I feel that I need to grow my Grinchly heart 10 times the size to keep up.


Is this the way most people are? I need to get with the program of uber compassion and grow up some.


I talked to a homeless musician the other day for about 10 minutes and all of a sudden I thought I was mother Theresa. Re-examination time Rick.



Maybe I will start that process tonight.


RL