I am doing LIFE COACHING as an extra activity added onto my RECRUITING.(There is a thin line between alumni and experimental clients) I realize through this experience that the only place to start for a client on this voyage is with HONESTY.
Questions need to be confronted like : What areas of my life have not worked the way I wanted? What are my blockages to changing this behaviour?
Do I fully take responsibility for my past actions or was I the proverbial VICTIM? Do I actually want to change? What do I want to keep the same?
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy can be wonderful as a tool. (I use it) Re framing an experience in the present or in the past is an excellent way to stop the personal blame game. (So is asking the burden to be lifted)
I have found that old ideas however, core issues, they continue to resurface if you don’t understand how to deal with them. Are they working for you? (Forgive me Dr Phil)
For instance.....Saying to yourself: I feel positive and deserve all the good that the world has to offer me........is a wonderful way to start the day. However, if you don’t really believe it in your heart, you have the famous disconnect between the mind and the soul. It’s not enough to say it, you have to believe it. To do that , I feel like you have to clear the wreckage.
I know, not everyone believes that they have any major core defects that are running their emotions. Some people like myself, were never hit, or thrown in a closet as a child , or told that they would never amount to anything. Yet, I don’t mind saying that I struggled with various issues.... things would come easy to me , I could attain almost anything I put my mind to, however, once I did, I would sabotage it on a subconscious level. Why?
That is a longer discussion. I have met many people that have tried to deal with this challenge. Is it that they felt that they didn’t deserve success (whatever the definition of success is)
Usually human beings simply gravitate towards pleasure and away from pain. So why sabotage pleasure? Hmm, there was a pleasure principle payoff I got a high from. So why the hell not languish in it?
Therapists want to look deep into the CHILDHOOD, yet I am not so sure that the mindset lies there dormant waiting to be dissected. When I was delving into the process of AUDITING in Scientology for a while, I would RUN people through past traumatic events over and over, looking for different new sensory observations and hidden feelings that may surface. They seemed to feel happy and felt lighter afterwards. (I stopped doing this when I was involved in running these techniques on children, which was ethically questionable)
The idea being that simply by touching on events that the person had forgotten, or were painful and never really synthesized, the impact of these events would lessen.
So on a basic level. If you can get your problems off your chest with another person, fantastic start, they really don’t have to fix them, as long as you can speak about them out loud , it is tremendously CATHARTIC. I believe that identifying them, speaking about them, and attaching no guilt to them is important. How to move on, well, that takes daily action and commitment. So let’s do it as Nike says.
Don’t look for any quick fix however. Relief I believe comes gradually. THESE OBSERVATIONS DON'T COME EASILY FROM READING A FEW TOO MANY SELF HELP BOOKS but from LIVING IN THE TRENCHES..(SOUNDED PRETTY GOOD)
I recently had lunch with a fascinating woman that I am going to be doing some work with on Addictions. She is a former Addict and now is working with a leading self-help guru. She is also a master Hypnotist.
A Reiki practitioner..on and on.... I was afraid she was going to put me under , right there in Starbucks, but I just wouldn’t bend in our first meeting. (Good one Rick) It was close.
She feels that working with people on strategies for their recovery, as well as working on their Core issues, the balance of the process will give them the foundation for a great future. This is what I hope to achieve with my coaching and my friendship with this woman and with the organization I am recruiting for.
It is all going so damn well, (watch out) and people keep being put in my path.
An old friend turned up on the beach yesterday on Canada day with his wife and child. I hadn’t seen him in 20 years and this is the second time I have ran into him in months. He tells me he may have some co-workers who might need my services. Definitely the channels are open.
I looked on in SURREAL wonderment as he described to his wife how he had known me since he was a child. Had I known him that long? Surely I wasn't this old.
On a final note. I have been playing and watching Tennis for many years now and Wimbledon is always one of the highlights of the sports year for me. I can’t help but keep up on the scores and the new faces and the records that are falling.
The other day in the Woman’s draw, an unknown CZECH woman named PETRA KVITOVA who is only 20 years old had somehow made it to the prestigious semis against defending champion Serena Williams.
Before the match in which she played spectacularly in defeat, she was asked by an Interviewer by the BBC a relevant question...........’Do you think you can win Wimbledon?” ..
..she waited to answer, she shyly smiled and gave the best answer I have heard in a Sports Interview in a long while. Her answer..........”No, I don’t really think I can win, I am just so happy to be here” The interviewer seemed dumbfounded.
The commentators, Mcenroe and Carillo joked about her confidence.
However, it was so refreshing to hear somebody who was supposed to say the usual stuff about momentum and everybody being human etc, she just spoke the truth from her heart.
Politically incorrect for NBC live, but really refreshing to hear. Does she need a sports psychologist?
They are probably calling her right as we speak. They will probably search to rid her of her core issues.
Her inability to contact her Honesty wouldn’t be one of them.
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