Life in the big metropolis without Fritz Lang to guide me. ROBERT DOWNEY JR has an interesting MANTRA that he repeats each day that is obviously working well for him. It is “Let’s just Deal With the ENERGY of the day”
I have been noticing recently that this city is full of troubled people. Why I didn’t notice this in the 30 previous years living here is astounding. Living in my head was incredibly selfish.
On every corner is somebody’s discarded lovechild gone(way gone) in a dark direction and having a hard time finding the easy way home. I try to help with some money, a uplifting comment or a smile when I can get out of myself, but the only real way to help the big picture is to transform myself to begin with. I get that. That production is underway and going , or should I say, functioning well in the midst of many curve balls, and Karmatic incidents that come my way.
I ran into a woman that I haven’t seen since highschool, it was interesting to hear her take on the last 25 years of her life and her relationships and her views on the world. Y seemed to have a real connection to what she descibed as MOTHER EARTH. I am not sure whether there was a Pagan or Wicken involvement, however her father was Muslim and her Mother was a Buddhist, which makes for an interesting potential pudding. We ended up spontaneously going to see a movie yesterday, SPLICE.
In that film, there is one of the most uncomfortable and erotic sexual scenes I have ever seen put on celluloid. Lets just say, without spoiling it for anybody, that the communion takes place between Adrian Brody’s character and his test tube creature/ woman that he raised. Enter Sarah Polley and cue my guilt by association feeling. Enough said, (absolute insanity) but it was slightly adventurous for two people to sit through that haven’t crossed paths in many moons. Y told me that I seemed quite happy and spiritual compared to what I was in highschool. I suppose that I took that as a compliment, although I don’t take compliments too easily these days. What the hell kind of egotistical, hollow human being was I in highschool? Scary to think about, but necessary.
In a book I am reading it was suggested to put on a piece of soothing music and to get into a comfortable position and to regulate your breathing. During this process you are supposed to try to get in touch with the “Silent Witness”. Who is really listening to the music and feeling it? Is it your brain? Ofcourse not; this is apparent pretty quick into the experiment; there is another entity that is involved in the listening process. That which can be described as a soul I suppose. This is actually a very good opportunity to get any elements of doubt about this issue erased from my doubting, insubordinate self.
So it works, something is working. Don’t let emotions control you. Like attracts like. There is something more operating in the universe. Synchonicity is making itself known to me. The power of now is hard to master, but worth trying. Time doesn’t really exist on a quantum level and on and on. I find the whole thing fascinating. Mostly fascinating, because I am surely not where I want to be yet, in all senses.
Before I finish this writing I want to talk briefly about something I just ran across today. I had run into another person on the TTC who wasn’t overjoyed to be sharing air with me. I took it as an afront to my whole being that they left the area quickly, seemingly in disgust. However, cause and effect does continue to come back to me in the case with this woman.
I re-read a poem I had written not too long ago based on her. Although at the time it seemed smart, whimsical and on the money; on re-examination it seemed negative, dark, condescending, and accusatory. I need to realize that words can injure, thoughts can injure, and quite honestly that is not my intention, i wish only good things for this great person.
I suppose I have a strange way of supporting that idea. I am still trying to figure out a way that we can be friends some day. ("and pop goes my heart") I believe that the reason I keep running into people is for the opportunity for some sort of correction to take place. More work needs to be done for sure. (ya think) On all levels before I can SPLICE my way to the promissed land.
I have recently asked for some help from the LA office to get into an 8 week course at the Kabbalah centre starting next Thursday. (Sharing on all levels and ego busting) It was right out of my comfort zone to write for help, considering my new business is taking off, but I am not there yet, so..swallow the pill and ask for help I say, sometimes it's worth it. It looks like I will get in too. Go easy my Grandmother always said.
Coming soon World Cup insanity and the G20 summit.
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