DON'T WANNA BE ALL BY MYSELF

I have just come from lunch in my GRANDMOTHERS (NANA'S) Seniors Residence. My Nana is a wonderful woman of 96 years now, quite incredible to me. A sparking human being. She loved to be involved in activities when she first arrived, such as a fitness class, multiple card games and outings to different Toronto attractions and beyond.

Unfortunately that is not the case anymore. She has lost most of her vision now and her hearing is not great even with the help of her aid. So she doesn't do much of anything.

I had hoped that music would become a more important element in her day, and perhaps she could listen to audio books as well. This could be her salvation. No. She really just isn't interested in much these days and that is sad to see. All her life she kept herself very busy, always had something on the go, and if she didn't she would drop by and clean your entire house for you from top till bottom, just for something to do, to keep her involved.

Through the experience of seeing the transformation in Nana I have noticed something else that is VERY DISTURBING.

When we put our elderly in homes designed to cater to their wishes, and living arrangements that are arranged to take the burden off of our lives here in the west, we are giving them access to fabulous health care 24 hours a day.

However, I believe that the thing that actually takes their lives away is not some state of the art VIRUS, but instead is old fashioned LONELINESS. Everyone is so LONELY. There is something really SAD as you watch all of these former thriving, VIVACIOUS HUMAN BEINGS just STARING out the WINDOWS VACUOUSLY for hours at a time.

HERE IS THE DEFINITION OF LONELINESS:


Loneliness is not the same as being alone. Many people have times when they are alone through circumstances or choice. Being alone can be experienced as positive, pleasurable, and emotionally refreshing if it is under the individual's control. Solitude is the state of being alone and secluded from other people, and often implies having made a conscious choice to be alone. Loneliness is unwanted solitude. Loneliness does not require being alone and is experienced even in crowded places. It can be described as the absence of identification, understanding or compassion. Loneliness can be described as a feeling of isolation from other individuals, regardless of whether one is physically isolated from others or not. It may also be described as a yearning for love or companionship, which is unfulfilled, but cannot seemingly be achieved, or may stem from the lack of love in one's life, and hence may lead to emotions such as rejection, despair and low self-esteem. Feelings of loneliness may be similar to feelings of the death or loss of a loved one.



The RESIDENTS REALLY look forward to their MEALS. Then it is back to the STARING out the WINDOWS, HOPING FOR A PHONE CALL, hoping for a VISIT. ALL THE SLEEPING.

I should visit more, WE ALL SHOULD. The whole bloody PLANET should. Is this our destiny when we get older. CAUSE AND EFFECT. This will be US. FEEL it NOW or LIVE IT LATER? Maybe.

It's an obvious problem, however it is not spoken about in our society very often. LONELINESS KILLS.

When working with ADDICTS in the Program I am involved with, one thing I read was a section on LONELINES, it is regarded as one of the largest reasons for RELAPSE or USING.

We all want to be a PART OF THINGS. WE WANT A HUG or the ABILITY to make SOMEBODY LAUGH. However, some of us ISOLATE. We don't want to be apart of any club that would have somebody like us as a member. Old joke, but true.

I have met some active SENIORS at these homes that seem very OPTIMISTIC CHARISMATIC and INDEPENDENT and they are loving their new lives. However, I don't think that is a very high percentage, especially after 80 or will it be me, there is something very dark LURKING in the HALLWAYS of these homes that only a HIGHER POWER will ever be able to help eliminate.

BUDDHIST'S talk about accepting DEATH, if you don't you will FEAR IT and not be able to embrace it. I think there is a little bit of FEAR lurking in me.

I respect these residents, they are special people. CLEARLY not themselves anymore, they just Love it if you bring in an ANIMAL, like my AUNT did the other day. BETTY the SHITSU was a big hit at the home. Lots of loving and cuddles for her and she was happy to respond.

I don't have the solution to this situation. But there is something that is being MISSED, and I am not blaming the Family's. I am just not sure how to cure the LONELINESS. I feel it. I am sure we all do.