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What an absolutely insane day in Toronto, Canada.... This city has long been self obsessing about it's inferiority complex. Are we the real metropolis that matters in a country of Trees and Rivers? We are not like New York, that chaotic dirty city to the south east, however we can build our waterfront up with Condos on every corner and be trendy and hip the way Chicago did about 10 years ago. We can ban the panhandlers from Downtown, open up some shelters for the homeless and allow some Casino's on Aboriginal lands, we kind of have it covered.
We needed an International reputation though. Other than being "very polite" (which is more like mute)people up here, we needed some credibility other than some vague Keanu Reeves association.
Let's bring some world leaders here and show them what a polite bunch of multicultural humans we have here, all harmoniously getting along. Great idea. We have a reputation of having more restaurants per ca pita than any other city, so lets show the Chinese and the British some real hospitality and some Canadian Beef.
The problem being, that the carnage and the depletion of natural resources that the G-8 nations are responsible for is not sitting well with the majority of thinking people all over the world. The entire planet is in utter chaos and all of the bravado and rhetoric thrown across our media will not make it any better. Forget about the 1 billion dollars wasted on security. The issues are so vast that I am going to spare you having to read them here again.
People are pissed and if you throw the Energy of a Police State around them and build fences and Ride in on Horses beating drums, the more extreme members of this mostly peaceful bunch might burn a couple of police cars.
Today I watched a documentary on the the successful coup that the US started in CHILE in the early 70's. Democratically elected president Allende was overthrown by general Augusto Pinochet who became a fascist dictator responsible for the murder and torture of thousands of peace loving citizens. He got by with a little help from his friends in the US government. This type of thing also took place in Guatemala, Peru and many other Country's. Why did we put up with it? Now we don't really even see it. Pretty sickening.
So the bottom line is The US and FRIENDS like us are going to have to Answer questions, but big Oil, big Finance and Big Government seem to be ok with all of this.
Moving on, today, I watched a sweet film about a Waitress made a couple of years ago. The message at the end of it was one of empowerment and hope. As it came to an end I realized that the actress who played one of the lead roles was also the writer and director. Adrienne Shelley was her name. She won a couple of awards for her work, but after the film wrapped, she was at home at her apartment and she was randomly murdered and then hanged by the thief in order to make it look like a suicide. Pretty scary irony.
Random violence also does exist, and it often strikes the truly gifted and innocent, the people that are truly making a difference in this society, one breath at a time. Sad.'s
I have to finish this little message on an up note. I had the pleasure of watching STEALING BEAUTY, the Bertollucci movie from the mid 90's tonight.
So LUSCIOUSLY filmed with the perfect Performances. It really was ..
I hate to use the cliche. A visual poem.TOO LATE. There is a scene where LIV TYLER'S character plays a game with a gentleman that will some how liberate her from her doldrums. She has to lick the mirror. It is a fantastic moment. You don't have to be a man to enjoy it, believe me on this. The young lady who was watching it with me was also impressed with the Cinematographer. One of the best moments ever put on film.
So what is resonating for me now is the realization that Beauty does exist in the moments, it is everywhere.
This is not s ome new age doctrine, it is true. If beauty is what turns your crank embrace it when you can, because if you are always looking forward, and worrying about the bigger pictures that are controlled by outside forces, you are missing out.
Our city is in Ruins in the metaphorical sense, and hey, it's to be expected at this point. Let's enjoy.
I suppose it is time for me to be slightly pedantic. Or would that be considered arrogant? Well lets see how it reads.
I was at a session of this mind-altering course last night. The topic we were exploring in depth was the EGO. Think of the EGO as a very dark passenger in your life. Very often hard to identify and quite often seemingly impossible to eliminate.
Now , I am not talking about healthy CONFIDENCE which would also include a sprinkling of HUMILITY.
I am speaking about A DIRECT BLOCKAGE to attaining a closeness with your higher power (whatever that may be) or simply a blockage to understanding the real you that is lurking underneath the brilliant facade.
The Journey into this realm is usually insulated by FEAR on all levels. What really is FEAR?
Fear is the anticipation of PAIN.
Fear of change......”I can’t move in with this person, what if they turn out to be psychotic?”....
Fear of Rejection........”If they get to know the real me, they may not like me”
Fear of Success.......”I don’t really deserve it, what if they see through me?”
There are 5 extensions of the EGO.
Anger
Judgement
Control
Pride/Approval
Hate
ANGER is usually a reaction to a situation in which things didn’t happen the way you thought they would.
JUDGEMENT takes place when you grant yourself the position of superioritiy.
CONTROL is trying to manipulate the limited world of the 5 senses. (The 1%) Our lives are actually being
shaped by the 99% realm.
PRIDE/APPROVAL is about those feelings of ENTITLEMENT you need to own. The innate need to look good to your peers.
HATED is the denial of the existence of positive energy outside of yourself. It’s a way of playing the victim.
Two ways to break the 5 extensions of ego are:
1. Appreciation—Start taking stock of what you are grateful for, the simple things that money can’t buy. Make a daily list.
2. Ask for help in the form of Meditation or Prayer.
THE BEST WAY TO BREAK THE EGO IS TO TRY TO DO WHAT IS USUALLY UNCOMFORTABLE FOR YOU TO
DO! PROACTIVELY GRAVITATE TOWARDS OPPORTUNITIES THAT MAKE YOU UNSURE.
IF YOU DON’T LIKE EXPRESSIONS OF AFFECTION.....GO OUT AND TRY TO HUG A FEW PEOPLE. THIS ONE KILLS ME.
IF YOU ARE PAINFULLY SHY, GO TRY TO FIND A PUBLIC SPEAKING OPPORTUNITY IN THE NEAR FUTURE.
REJECTION IS ACTUALLY FABULOUS FOR BREAKING DOWN EGO. AS MUCH AS WE HATE TO BE REJECTED BY OUR PEERS OR BY ANYBODY.....IT IS ACTUALLY CLEANSING FOR THE SOUL, THE EGO HATES IT. BREAK OUT THOSE PAINFULLY BAD PICKUP LINES BOYS.
If you ask yourself the question....Why do I need to break down my EGO? It gives me joy. I get a quick fix, I worked hard for it. Maybe it's not the REAL YOU making those observations.
WHO IS REALLY RUNNING THE SHOW?
This city of lights that I reside in, can be quite the challenge mentally.
I am strangely hyper aware of the noise pollution around my building these days. Drilling and ripping up balcony's and pavements and buildings in all directions. Not to mention the chaos that is the downtown core with the 1 billion dollars spent on security for the G-20 summit.
(1 billion dollars, is this number even palatable to the average person? It's bloody insane, I don't want to say to much about this but lets support the ban on Offshore Drilling and lets phase out Fossil fuels immediately and independently investigate the ties between big oil and big government.
Let's stop depleting our resources on Aboriginal lands, especially with the viable energy alternatives available to us unilaterally. The Judges decision to overturn the moratorium on Offshore Drilling is ludicrous and reeks of right wing payoffs.)
I tend to generally think of protesters as a bit of a pain in the ass,(shitty past attitude admission) but in this current climate of environmental disaster and world poverty I completely support them. There is no need for a Bono or Bob Geldoff here.
Moving on in topic, the noise pollution ... the fences downtown and the upcoming Pride parade (wait perhaps I shouldn't mention that one)the honking horns of the multicultural World Cup celebrations are going to throw your “SO-HUM” morning meditation slightly out of whack, and perhaps your needy libido.
I am honestly practicing zazen/meditation twice a day as well as visualization and some other practices that work for me in keeping me humble and in the moment. However, even with all of this ritualistic love and exercise incorporated into my life, it is still obviously difficult to deal with the energy of this city in the Summer. A friend visiting from Alberta recently commented to me...”it must be difficult, I couldn't imagine living here and dealing with this 24 hours a day”.......I wasn't exactly sure what he was referring to at the time, but the truth is, we who have lived here for most of our adult lives just do it. However, it would be nice to go swimming in a river once in while or take a walk down a country road with your partner when the only sounds you can here are the sounds of your own footsteps.
If we don't figure out an outlet that works, or a way to slow down the process of synthesizing and analyzing all of the chaos of the city, we are in trouble. Most of the people here look like they are living in a bubble of noise, or a cylinder of darkness. They are not dealing with the energy, they are just trying to catch up to the speed with a new cell phone or to play some music immediately in order to drone out the wilting sounds of the natural world.
I don't like to generalize. However I just did.
Maybe most of these people are not walking around depleted after all, maybe they know the secret, the secret that helps them get through. Perhaps a little pot during lunch, a couple of xanax before breakfast or my favorite, sneaking bottles of Vodka into your daily routine. It's all so very soulless in the end. How can we get it back to ...I don't know....that wonderful way we saw the world when we were children. Couple that vision with some proactive peaceful initiatives, some humility and were off.
In the meantime, let's think about the challenge of changing ourselves. Deep stuff.
As I am writing this a huge protest is going by the cafe I am in with thousands of people and signs that read “Native Rights are Human Rights” and “You can't breathe money”. These protesters seemingly are getting something that most of us are missing.
(Most of them being University students; let's hope they continue to get it after they leave their supportive community, and move onto the antiseptic and brutal real world complete with the DREAM CRUSHING machine that subliminally works its way into your life)
Powerful message though..
I was in the Distillery District a couple of days ago really enjoying the environment. The ambience, the people, the cobblestone, and one of the greatest coffee shops in the city Balzac’s. (This is what Yorkville wanted to be like a few decades ago)
After spending a couple of hours talking the future with a friend of mine. I split off on my own and started to wander a little bit. Why did this guy Worts who owned this Distillery, commit suicide I thought. They were shipping off his Whiskey by rail to the whole continent; he was probably rolling in dough. What a great time to be rich in the late Eighteen Hundreds. My thoughts started to flow.
I stuck my head into what looked like a restaurant that did some great healthy gourmet takeout. Instead I saw that this area was only the beginning of the journey to come, behind a curtain lurked a wild looking art gallery that was filled with all these eclectic looking humanoids.
As I approached the gallery. A woman dressed in a beautiful white gown revealed herself asking me “are you here for the showing.” At first my ears thought they caught the words “are you here for the affair” which made me smile for a nanosecond .
Now, in these kind of moments, I usually just back away and shrivel up, but for some reason I leaned closer and whispered “yes” “and what a beautiful location for it”
She pulled back the curtain slightly with a smile and ushered me in. I assumed she knew that I was a fake; however she was taking some pity on me for giving it the old college try.
I turned down some sexy looking champagne to drown my world in mineral water. Good choice. I began pondering the price tagged fixed to each of these works. 10,000 for the old woman, 20,000 for the mermaid seemingly emerging from some sort of oyster like world. Then these three works that took up a whole wall. All abstract visions of the same HORSE, almost as seen from under the water or something. Interesting. I wondered what the astronomical price tag would be. Why think price I warned my ridiculous ego. Think art.
Standing in front of this three painting bonanza was this woman. Here we go.
At first I was somehow fixated on the way she was standing. There was a certain confidence, mixed with the flowing whimsy of a dancer, she could move forward for a closer inspection or perhaps leap away at any second.
I am here for the art I thought. Bullocks, no you are not, you are a freeloader, and the fact that some semblence of spontaneity and synchronicity brought you into this space at this moment, move forward and take a closer look, you base pervert. Calm down.
I moved beside her and smiled at her when the opportunity presented itself. Oh lord. Her look didn’t move, it stayed fixed on me, for what seemed like a minute or so. I was feeling anything but confident. I felt slightly ill. STAGGERING AESTHETIC BEAUTY and a powerful prescience; if she speaks and she is in any way genuine, I may have to kill myself.
She speaks………….”So do you get it”?
I look around quickly but I am the only person in range of what I judged at the time as the most profound comment I had ever heard”
“If I say that it reminds me of a Jackson Pollack, would you know that I am extremely shallow?” What the hell did that mean, you idiot!
She laughs at my piercing wit. “I used to ride when I was younger so I am still fascinated with the whole horse/girl thing”
“Hmm. But I bet you never rode a pony like this on LSD” Oh god will somebody muzzle me, why the drug reference.
“No never” “But I’d like to”…………
I look at her a little closer. How old is this woman. Or is she a woman. She is dressed in a fantastic short length evening dress with high heeled shoes that could pass for some sort of art in themselves. I never did make it into the Bata museum. She isn’t wearing any makeup and has deep green eyes. Yet. How the fuck old is she? She looks 18. Or is it that I feel 100.
I take a stroll up to the price tag, turn quickly with a smile to her. “Take a guess”
“UH for the whole wall…..15,000”
“Actually no (I mumble), it’s a mere $21,000, good try though"
Rick my god you pathetic human being, will you say what is on your mind. Break through this BS or you will regret it, perhaps you will be happy just to go back to your books and…….. Time is stopping, for god sakes, speak you douche.
“Can I say something to you?” Oh shit, did that come out of my mouth?
“Sure, whatever.”
“I am Rick by the way”
“Samantha”
Get to the punch line you of this bad performance. Swallow. But she looks exactly like a young Nastassia in Cat people, shut up and speak.
“You are unusually attractive, which is wonderful for me to take in, but I can’t help but wondering how old you are, and why you are here alone, and maybe I should shut up now”
Oh shit. No wonder I can’t even get a date with a pony.
“Thank you Rick. You are too kind. Well, to answer your question, I am 21 going on 40. And….I am not really alone, well anymore than usual, my husband is the guy at the other end of the room behind the apple computer”
I take a quick look at the guy, trying to be cool. I know I am supposed to just love my fellow man but this is going to be impossible. How did this foolish looking GIRAFFE of a person with some really BAD GLASSES, ever land a lifetime of Samantha.
“Oh he looks….interesting, I would of never, I mean…you don’t look…..I didn’t feel…..married from you”
“Yes I hate to define myself that way, but I am one of those woman, been married a couple of years, now, you?”
“Um no, no, I am single” “ Yeah,I am trouble” “The woman actually are cautioned about going out with guys like me, their mothers have taken the course and caution them to steer clear.’ (Yeah but if I can ever get you Oceanside young lady)
She smiles. “Trouble, you don’t look like trouble Rick, you seem…….ok”
“And you don’t look married”
I touch her bare back briefly. Oh shit. I would move to Siberia for one night caressing that back.
We walk into the other room and linger over the many paintings exchanging small talk. Time has definately stopped. You know it when it is happening. Hold on.
I feel pretty comfortable and am somehow diffusing the aura of pure energy that is blasting me out of the room every time she looks at me. Why is this so difficult?
White light, white heat I think. My monkey mind quickly wonders to the free concert that Iggy Pop is giving. Come back. She is speaking.
“Hey man, Rick, I don’t usually do this so quickly, but you and I seem to really get along, and I would like to hear more about your play and things, but I got to bolt. My lord is calling”
I look over at the impatient GIRAFFE that is sizing me up in the background. FOREVER IN MY BACKGROUND
“Let’s exchange emails” I blurt out.
“Perfect”
She reaches quickly into her purse.
We do this rapidly and then just before she leaves, I look deep into her GREEN EYES.
I am really saying Thank you. Thank you for resurrecting me from the dead.
If life was only speckled with more moments like this, it might be worth the angst.
She leans over. What the hell. OMG. Is she going to KISS ME?
“Like the French” She smiles
“Sure”
We kiss on both cheeks; she touches my shoulder and is gone.
I am HIGH. High on life. I am not dead. But why am I still staring at these FUCKING HORSES.
Out on the streets something feels different. I can’t put my finger on it. My mind doesn’t want to try.
Coming from an open window, high above me, I hear the old INXS song "dream on black boy, dream on white girl", man I haven't heard that in years, but if feels right.
To be continued……………………………..
I have just come from lunch in my GRANDMOTHERS (NANA'S) Seniors Residence. My Nana is a wonderful woman of 96 years now, quite incredible to me. A sparking human being. She loved to be involved in activities when she first arrived, such as a fitness class, multiple card games and outings to different Toronto attractions and beyond.
Unfortunately that is not the case anymore. She has lost most of her vision now and her hearing is not great even with the help of her aid. So she doesn't do much of anything.
I had hoped that music would become a more important element in her day, and perhaps she could listen to audio books as well. This could be her salvation. No. She really just isn't interested in much these days and that is sad to see. All her life she kept herself very busy, always had something on the go, and if she didn't she would drop by and clean your entire house for you from top till bottom, just for something to do, to keep her involved.
Through the experience of seeing the transformation in Nana I have noticed something else that is VERY DISTURBING.
When we put our elderly in homes designed to cater to their wishes, and living arrangements that are arranged to take the burden off of our lives here in the west, we are giving them access to fabulous health care 24 hours a day.
However, I believe that the thing that actually takes their lives away is not some state of the art VIRUS, but instead is old fashioned LONELINESS. Everyone is so LONELY. There is something really SAD as you watch all of these former thriving, VIVACIOUS HUMAN BEINGS just STARING out the WINDOWS VACUOUSLY for hours at a time.
HERE IS THE DEFINITION OF LONELINESS:
Loneliness is not the same as being alone. Many people have times when they are alone through circumstances or choice. Being alone can be experienced as positive, pleasurable, and emotionally refreshing if it is under the individual's control. Solitude is the state of being alone and secluded from other people, and often implies having made a conscious choice to be alone. Loneliness is unwanted solitude. Loneliness does not require being alone and is experienced even in crowded places. It can be described as the absence of identification, understanding or compassion. Loneliness can be described as a feeling of isolation from other individuals, regardless of whether one is physically isolated from others or not. It may also be described as a yearning for love or companionship, which is unfulfilled, but cannot seemingly be achieved, or may stem from the lack of love in one's life, and hence may lead to emotions such as rejection, despair and low self-esteem. Feelings of loneliness may be similar to feelings of the death or loss of a loved one.
The RESIDENTS REALLY look forward to their MEALS. Then it is back to the STARING out the WINDOWS, HOPING FOR A PHONE CALL, hoping for a VISIT. ALL THE SLEEPING.
I should visit more, WE ALL SHOULD. The whole bloody PLANET should. Is this our destiny when we get older. CAUSE AND EFFECT. This will be US. FEEL it NOW or LIVE IT LATER? Maybe.
It's an obvious problem, however it is not spoken about in our society very often. LONELINESS KILLS.
When working with ADDICTS in the Program I am involved with, one thing I read was a section on LONELINES, it is regarded as one of the largest reasons for RELAPSE or USING.
We all want to be a PART OF THINGS. WE WANT A HUG or the ABILITY to make SOMEBODY LAUGH. However, some of us ISOLATE. We don't want to be apart of any club that would have somebody like us as a member. Old joke, but true.
I have met some active SENIORS at these homes that seem very OPTIMISTIC CHARISMATIC and INDEPENDENT and they are loving their new lives. However, I don't think that is a very high percentage, especially after 80 or will it be me, there is something very dark LURKING in the HALLWAYS of these homes that only a HIGHER POWER will ever be able to help eliminate.
BUDDHIST'S talk about accepting DEATH, if you don't you will FEAR IT and not be able to embrace it. I think there is a little bit of FEAR lurking in me.
I respect these residents, they are special people. CLEARLY not themselves anymore, they just Love it if you bring in an ANIMAL, like my AUNT did the other day. BETTY the SHITSU was a big hit at the home. Lots of loving and cuddles for her and she was happy to respond.
I don't have the solution to this situation. But there is something that is being MISSED, and I am not blaming the Family's. I am just not sure how to cure the LONELINESS. I feel it. I am sure we all do.
Life in the big metropolis without Fritz Lang to guide me. ROBERT DOWNEY JR has an interesting MANTRA that he repeats each day that is obviously working well for him. It is “Let’s just Deal With the ENERGY of the day”
I have been noticing recently that this city is full of troubled people. Why I didn’t notice this in the 30 previous years living here is astounding. Living in my head was incredibly selfish.
On every corner is somebody’s discarded lovechild gone(way gone) in a dark direction and having a hard time finding the easy way home. I try to help with some money, a uplifting comment or a smile when I can get out of myself, but the only real way to help the big picture is to transform myself to begin with. I get that. That production is underway and going , or should I say, functioning well in the midst of many curve balls, and Karmatic incidents that come my way.
I ran into a woman that I haven’t seen since highschool, it was interesting to hear her take on the last 25 years of her life and her relationships and her views on the world. Y seemed to have a real connection to what she descibed as MOTHER EARTH. I am not sure whether there was a Pagan or Wicken involvement, however her father was Muslim and her Mother was a Buddhist, which makes for an interesting potential pudding. We ended up spontaneously going to see a movie yesterday, SPLICE.
In that film, there is one of the most uncomfortable and erotic sexual scenes I have ever seen put on celluloid. Lets just say, without spoiling it for anybody, that the communion takes place between Adrian Brody’s character and his test tube creature/ woman that he raised. Enter Sarah Polley and cue my guilt by association feeling. Enough said, (absolute insanity) but it was slightly adventurous for two people to sit through that haven’t crossed paths in many moons. Y told me that I seemed quite happy and spiritual compared to what I was in highschool. I suppose that I took that as a compliment, although I don’t take compliments too easily these days. What the hell kind of egotistical, hollow human being was I in highschool? Scary to think about, but necessary.
In a book I am reading it was suggested to put on a piece of soothing music and to get into a comfortable position and to regulate your breathing. During this process you are supposed to try to get in touch with the “Silent Witness”. Who is really listening to the music and feeling it? Is it your brain? Ofcourse not; this is apparent pretty quick into the experiment; there is another entity that is involved in the listening process. That which can be described as a soul I suppose. This is actually a very good opportunity to get any elements of doubt about this issue erased from my doubting, insubordinate self.
So it works, something is working. Don’t let emotions control you. Like attracts like. There is something more operating in the universe. Synchonicity is making itself known to me. The power of now is hard to master, but worth trying. Time doesn’t really exist on a quantum level and on and on. I find the whole thing fascinating. Mostly fascinating, because I am surely not where I want to be yet, in all senses.
Before I finish this writing I want to talk briefly about something I just ran across today. I had run into another person on the TTC who wasn’t overjoyed to be sharing air with me. I took it as an afront to my whole being that they left the area quickly, seemingly in disgust. However, cause and effect does continue to come back to me in the case with this woman.
I re-read a poem I had written not too long ago based on her. Although at the time it seemed smart, whimsical and on the money; on re-examination it seemed negative, dark, condescending, and accusatory. I need to realize that words can injure, thoughts can injure, and quite honestly that is not my intention, i wish only good things for this great person.
I suppose I have a strange way of supporting that idea. I am still trying to figure out a way that we can be friends some day. ("and pop goes my heart") I believe that the reason I keep running into people is for the opportunity for some sort of correction to take place. More work needs to be done for sure. (ya think) On all levels before I can SPLICE my way to the promissed land.
I have recently asked for some help from the LA office to get into an 8 week course at the Kabbalah centre starting next Thursday. (Sharing on all levels and ego busting) It was right out of my comfort zone to write for help, considering my new business is taking off, but I am not there yet, so..swallow the pill and ask for help I say, sometimes it's worth it. It looks like I will get in too. Go easy my Grandmother always said.
Coming soon World Cup insanity and the G20 summit.
After a TREMENDOUSLY challenging (lets say BRUTAL) last 10 months, I can finally say with confidence that I see the light at the end of MY tunnel.
It’s happening DEEPAK. Recently among other visceral moments of gratitude and redemption songs, I have been reading some wonderful inspirational stuff by many authors, one being ROBIN SHARMA. (The greatness guide 1&2) Life changing IDEAS if applied. The key being “if applied”. My brain and maybe yours tends to want to react to emotions, as opposed to putting something positive out there every few minutes to oppose being a puppet for emotions engrained in the past. However it works.
One of the messages in one of the books is very irritating but valid.
“ The things that drive you crazy are actually giant opportunities”
(Reframing them very often for me is an epic tug of war from hell)
“The people that press your buttons are actually your greatest teachers”
(Depending on how hard buddy is pressing it, this process may takes weeks for me to get it)
“The issues that make you angry are actually your biggest gifts. Be grateful for them, love them”
(I may have to draw the line at this one. So the oil spill (with those poor birds) and the Israeli blockade and the hunger in Darfur are my greatest gifts? I suppose if I was out there physically on the frontlines making a difference, this one is a stretch, however I understand where it is going, I think)
I have basically found that with humility, responsibility, respecting other people’s boundaries and smiling more, it helps me tune in to the synchronicity and energy around me. That’s all I really know. I don’t know about saving the birds at this point.
I was watching a program on Discovery last night where STEPHEN HAWKING was talking about the REAL possibility of time travel in the future. After his case was concluded, that using WORMHOLES and ACCELERATED SPEED can achieve IT, I concluded in my mind that I really know very little. I truly live in the 1% reality and these notions are in the 99% realm where all the real miracles and indigestable patterns are taking place. I just have to tune in. That’s ok for now though he said sheepishly.
(Maybe it was watching Invictus and Alice In Wonderland on the plane that is helping)
I was recently given a book called the 5 Love Languages to read. This HOKIE title did little to make me want to open the cover, however within seconds of turning to the first page somewhere, I was learning something profound and understanding my girlfriends ways of expressing affection. (Why give me this book) Basically if your partners way of showing love is through touch....and you SELDOM touch her except when in selfish mode......GUESS WHAT? .......COMMUNICATION BREAKDOWN. Simple but it resonated. Great messege that was true but I kind of hated it.
Perhaps I should have loved it, oh lord. (If time travel is possible I will be travelling back)
Anyway,my life is in positive flux shall we say. Thanks to the world of the 99% and my grand opportunity to SHUT MY MOUTH and LISTEN for a change, one day at a time. It’s all good today. Talk to me tomorrow.
