What happened to the Oxytocin?

Someone said to me recently that "getting out of a long relationship is like experiencing a death" Yes, thats how I feel. The five stages of grief.

That's what it feels like.  This person that you loved, this person who has been emotionally supportive for years, is now just falling off the map.

Why do relationships turn into extended friendships?

 In the beginning when the hormones and oxytocin is flowing, it all feels so beautiful and refreshing. Transcending time together...in the flow of life together. Somehow in the end, it turns out to be more about who is right? Right about what? 

Once the 18months of the honeymoon phase is over, it is more like a partnership.  You better hope that when the masks that we all wear are dropped completely, if they ever are...you better hope that your personalities match

You better hope that the rhythm of your souls work together.  Because if they don't, then other person will ALWAYS BE TRYING TO CHANGE YOU. BEWARE IF YOUR LOVER IS CONSTANTLY TRYING TO CHANGE YOU.

I have been dealing with a series of close calls and disappointments recently. Out of 50 people , It was down to 3 which included myself, for a big commercial which has a big visibility factor and payed alot of money. After my agent gave me the impression that I got the job, I found out that I narrowly missed it. Then the apartment in Port Credit that I was moving into was given to somebody else.  So I live in family houses in basements and spare rooms in a travelling circus for the moment.

On the other hand, if I can just endure this part of my crazy freedom cycle, maybe I will have some stability by fall. These must be the real Daily Moves Outside My Comfort Zone.

I have been able to be more honest with myself recently and I hope that it will help the situation, because baring your soul to yourself can be a very depressing and sad thing. A scary thing. The little boy is wondering whats going on after the big me took away his friend that he relied on for so many emotional nuances, and changed his bed that he slept in every night for the last few years. 

Relationships that seem so bright in the beginning are simply a heart breaker. So many expectations, so many disappointment from her point of view as well.. So much settling for what you didn't expect.

I wont be in any relationship for a long while, this I know. However, I feel that if I set up the parameters of honest friendship correctly, maybe I can feel better about going forward.

I could say more, I have had some old friends come back into my life recently, and I think that this is something I should be grateful for. 

But the formula of the day seems to be:

RELATIONSHIPS = HEARTBREAK (at least for me in my dark basement right now)

I feel awful for my ex. She really is a fantastic person, but as a couple, it wasn't a positive situation. She will be fine, or are any of us ever fine?. Aren't we just trying to buy into a lifestyle that doesn't really exist?

Rick