The code of approval

Two of the things that we are all addicted to are "recognition and approval". I find it completely counter intuitive and quite sickening, I speak about myself only.

Pity though, for as long as we are obsessed with recognition and approval..... I don't think that we will ever manifest our true potentials.




We may go out of our way to help out at the soup kitchen or we might send money to a great organization like water.org.....but in the end we are really just looking for some type of soothing validation for our actions. (I really am a philanthropist)



I know that there is this little persona that wants me to be looked upon as some sort of genius or unique entity. You sick fck.


Why? Because I am constantly observing and concerned about the human condition? (I am not sure that this even qualifies me for a night course)


I don't actually do too much to alter the human condition because with 7 billion people, it's so out of my control, it may just lead to a prescription of random anti-depressants. (I need to actually take action and do much much more)




What is this constant need for approval?



I think that it is a quality that comes very early in life....as an infant, you smile for the camera and everybody around you claps and coos.


If you are picked to be the lead in the school play, then your friends will tell you that you are probably the next Daniel Day Lewis, and you shouldn't give up that selfless action until it hurts.



Even when I give something to a nameless stranger, there is that nagging part of me that feels like....hmmmm.....you are truly... a very nice guy, you really are, you have always been.... Awful. Really awful.


I suppose there is something to be said about morals and ethics and the larger prevalent idea that states that if everyone was walking around not really caring if they were fitting into society, what would we have?



What do we have now? Except social domestication at an early age and anarchy and depression later on in life.



So what am I really touching on....Give like Ghandi and don't sleep with your friends wives...perhaps...Morals dictate that we try to fit in and not hurt other people and to some degree I certainly believe that this is important, however, should I really care if you think I am a wonderful giving human being or a selfish misanthropic prick?



If we take away the idea that our actions are being monitored, based on some random criteria created in a back room 100s of years ago.....what are we left with?



We are left with the human need to fit in with his fellow man. We are left with the need for companionship. Some times if your companions are falling short and are completely self involved and ego driven, it can be a lonely club room.



Heck, it's always seemed like a lonely club room for me. Would I really want to join any club that would have somebody like "me" for a member?



Around the holidays I notice this need to be validated poking its obtrusive head into many of my affairs. It's not really the need to give everyone a big love hug and a candy cane.



Solutions for you and me? I don't know....Give without expecting a result...In fact, don't do anything that requires somebody to praise you in any shape or form.



Humility among the 7 billion, (possibly) especially since 1 billion don't have safe drinking water and don't have the luxury to even ruminate over a question such as this.



Rick