ATTITUDES AND PLATITUDES

Attitude really is everything.


If you don't feel good.... change the way you feel. If you don't feel inspired.... become inspired. But what if you are just too tired to care?


I often get the feeling that 99 percent of the population out there is just settling. Settling on their insular world, settling on their questionable jobs, settling on their underdeveloped potential and settling on their uninspiring partners.


However if you give most people enough technology to distract themselves in the form of mobile phones etc, they might not care about their own Matrix's, their lack of real risk taking, or the monotony of it all. I could be oversimplifying.


The way we settle for mediocrity in our daily existence can be very scary for me.
(This is actually a very subjective statement because what may scare me about some couple walking down the streets looking pathetic and using bad grammar, might be the relationship of the year to somebody else)


I was at a seminar recently where the speaker was saying that the reason that human beings get old, is really about a loss of passion. We lose the drive to try new things and to get excited.


He was making a point that if people renewed their passion for life and continually went for it each day, they really wouldn't feel there was an aging process manifesting at all.



Are you simply happy to exist? Not that there is anything wrong with that.



It's not really a moral question. Is there anything wrong with just doing enough to get by? Life is extremely hard and depressing and very often brutally unfair, I get that.

Maybe it is ok to just kind of cocoon away after work and on weekends and just hope to make it through.



Maybe it is copacetic to be one of these people that couldn't care less about the big questions about spirituality and life after death.. The law of attraction, that might be a little too out there for you. It's often too far removed from the traffic jams for me as well.



Who am I kidding, I am obsessed with the larger questions. I can't simply brush them all under the carpet. But they can be digested and investigated with a semi-perma-smile on my face. That might be one awkward smile.


I probably still want to have it all, I want to have the epiphany; I want to have the great family, the relationship and the beach house. (My friends with the beach house already, really fabulous guys, remember me)


I always wanted to figure out the bigger metaphysical questions first but that was a tough thing to do. I should have done it the other way around but now I will have to deal with my own cause and effect. I will do it.


I know I won't be leaving this earth without leaving a book behind. Maybe it will be on the genius of having a POSITIVE ATTITUDE. It might be the worst piece of pap ever written, but it will be there to be ridiculed long after I am gone.


It's been said that if you are the most upbeat, optimistic, energetic person you know, you will also be the most successful. (Meaning?) At least you can rest well at night knowing that you are not just dragging all your friends and acquaintances down.


Then there are these other people I have met on occasion that have that intangible something. That creative drive, that focus, that tunnel vision that pushes them forward. Luck seems to follow them, seems to follow their hard work and vision. It's inspiring. Makes me sick but it inspires me. (ha)


Whatever drives them seems to be working at least on the outside in terms of their toys and their champagne, but on another level they may be miserable and spiritually bankrupt. I don't know. They probably are too satiated to know that they are miserable.


If you include an actual conscience in the mix and a desire to get better even when you are already succeeding, I think that you have hit on something. It's a deep formula.

When you see the proverbial finish line.....that is when you really put your foot on the gas.


Remember a couple of years ago when people and the media were tossing the word "Proactive" around like it was the holy grail. It was ridiculous and became to mean very little.


However, I will reclaim the word now and say that I needed to train myself to be proactive and positive or be faced with constant lethargy, boredom and eventually death.


I take a look at this everyday to see if I am falling back into old habits born out of smoking too much marijauna on sunny days. (And many other reasons)



There is a time and a place to sit with your friends and talk about the shit in your life. To hide away for a day or two....

Hey, listen to that sad music and go for those walks in the rain. Relive those glory days and unwind .(Actually this might make a couple of people I know very happy)


But keep these intervals to a bare minimum or face the process repeating itself way too often and zapping away your ability to actally be that exceptional human being in the 1 percent.


The point I am making to myself really is .... I need to get more excited. You might want to be more excited as well. I am already half way there, but the daily inertia could be much more...


Be more optimistic about the one shot... If I told you that you are leaving to Machu Pichu tomorrow morning at 7 am. You would jump out of your bed at 4 invigorated.. Why B?


Some of you already live on the other side of the world. So if I said you are leaving for Toronto at 7 am? Would you sleep through your alarm? Trick question.


Maybe i will get up early tomorrow and jog to the Donut shop, that would be semi inspiring. Does that qualify gatekeeper of the procrastinator?


I just purchased an Italian Aprilia scooter that is a little red bullet and will have me flying all over Ontario soon at 130km; it is really inspiring and exciting me for tonight. But when there are no new purchases and no sexy woman (what?) around the corner, I still need to find a way to get off my ass and to be excited about the day to day.


Hey that's just me and my process tonight. It's all about my rotten attitude. I am trying to figure out what the difference is between my attitude and Rafael Nadal's?
Tough call.



Rick

ETERNAL SUNSHINE SPOTLESS GUY

Everything you read about being a strong, forward thinking, successful human being, mentions that you should not "dwell in the past".


Nothing good can come from re-living memories from the past. If you have had a multi-layered eventually negative experience in the past, perhaps a relationship that ended, you should forget about it and move on.


We should learn from the challenges of our past to become stronger. What does this mean exactly? Is that all that we can take away?



If you program yourself to erase moments in relationships from the past because ultimately there was pain, and we don't do well with pain. Aren't you also really erasing the triumphs, the conviction, the real you who was both strong at times and extremely vulnerable as well?


Isn't there a danger of losing the authentic you? Should we really hit the full erase button?


What will we have in the end if we have forgotten all those life affirming moments, those funny spontaneous exuberant moments from our past relationships.


If we don't remember them, just so we can move on to some sort of fully speculative idea of the future, what should that really look like? Isn't that robotic living at its worst?



Our lives really are held together tenuously at best by a patchwork of breathtaking, special, intelligent and spontaneous seconds. It would be tough to hastily toss them out for some pop psychology doctrine that is completely unproven.



Whether you left her for the adventurous librarian down the street or she ended up leaving you for the tree hugging hippy with the Galapagos tattooed on his balls. Don't forget the laughter and the big warm embraces.



Yeah, I get it, it stunk at the time, communication breakdown. Nothing is a waste though. It's all worth it.



I look back at some of the most outstanding moments with a couple of people that I don't see regularly now, and I hope they haven't forgotten the day at the zoo, or the shopping for obscure LP's in the spring. or the tears of love and frustration, when we got rained out.


If they have erased, it's ok, I haven't. I will remind them over coffee in a couple of years. The way we were.



Best summers day.......1982,2009....



Do you really want to block it all out for good because it can be a little uncomfortable in the afternoon?



I agree, that it makes the most sense to live in the now. The power of now. Our nows, hour by hour, day by day, do construct our future, and can be whatever you want it to be. It may or may not include some new lover from Montauk.



However,there must be room, leave some room to be fearless, to be able to walk back into that kitchen in your mind, to walk over to that old girlfriend and give her the biggest, sloppiest kiss, surprising the hell out of her. "What was that for?"


For some of my friends that have lost the loves of their lives to sickness, and to religious organizations, and to other lovers. Sure, it's not healthy to live in the past too often.



But it's good to know that it's alright to visit. To dream. No need for professional help. They helped make you the person that you are right now. Hopefully you can look in the mirror and like who you are. Wish them well fellows and drop the resentments.



It's more than ok to sit in a restaurant that you once went to with her or him.


It's ok to feel rejuvenated and alive and be able to say to your new partner.....I had a great time at this very place with Sasha.........we really had fun that day.

Or, we made love in the washroom of this cafe, as they were making us hot chocolates. But now I am here with you. (This one could sting a little)



Ok, It was "eternal sunshine of the spotless mind" and charlie kaufman that set me off on this tonight. It felt good to say it. I don't want to erase my two Clementines, do I really have to?. I have moved on such a long time ago, do I have to fully erase?




Taking responsibility for your actions and becoming a better, healthier, more empathetic human being is one thing, forgetting all the smiles the mysteries and passion in between is another. It's unremarkable.



Yeah , it often sucks in the end. You couldn't get through to me. But do you remember when you were speaking to me so loudly in the bus that day about me being... your daddy, I thought I would split apart with laughter... That moment cannot be erased.



I just think that to forget it all, for the sake of mental safety is a little on the
Orwellian side, for me anyway.



If you have moved on and are putting all of those powerful projections and focus on to a new person, it's such an empowering place to be.


Don't be afraid to bring a little bit of yourself from the past, (from us) with you once in a while. I know that I will do the same. It's part of what will make us successful. It's part of what keeps of vital and alive.


Rick

FLOWING PAST YOUR BLOCKAGES

I remember back when I was in my early 20's (last year) my girlfriend and I decided to take a TAI CHI class in downtown Toronto. We were very enthusiastic about it before we got there, it seemed that we were already masters in our own minds.


However, it wasn't that easy and didn't quite flow as we had expected. They put us in a "horse stance" for about 15 minutes which was difficult and excruciating. The actual moves that were dance like, also took a while to memorize.


We didn't last more than a few classes. Years later I asked the same girlfriend if she remembered the classes and she replied that she had hated them.


Over the years I have often stopped in my tracks when I have come across people practicing in a park. It always seemed like such a mysterious and beautiful thing.


To me, I got the sense that they were not just doing some random moves, but were actually tapping into something very spiritual. There was some sort of communion going on with nature. I wanted to learn.


That being said...I always wanted to learn Kung Fu and Karate, and Transcendental Meditation and Fencing... and I never have gotten around to these things.


So, I was very fortunate a few months ago, when my friend Liz introduced me to "Mr Lee" who is a Qi Gong master from Hong Kong.


I had had some accupuncture a couple of years ago for migraine headaches with some success, and although I was somewhat aware of what chi-energy was....(also spelled Qi) and I knew a little about the Chakras and the Meridiens, I was still slightly skeptical of Chinese medicine, as I was brought up on the scary Western ideal of taking multiple aspirins and pills at the first hint of a pain or cold.


Qi gong is practiced by over 100 million chinese. It is a series of fluid movements that are accompanied by a very specific breathing regiment. In China it has basically been proven to reverse diseases such as Cancer and Diabetes and can also work on Heart issues. Out of Qi gong (chi-gung)comes one version of many called Tai Chi that westerners are familiar with today.


I was recently told that I could reverse the damage to my heart with healthy living and proper exercise and .....something intangible.....positive thinking and belief would be good, but as well, I figured that there would be nothing better than this. Mr Lee agreed and took hours researching specific moves for me when he was recently in Hong Kong.


This savior now teaches me Qi Gong privately once a week. Luck seems to be on the horizon.


Today Mr Lee taught me a series of moves that we are going to be practicing out in a park at Queens Quay this spring and summer; I am really looking forward to this process. I love to compete on a tennis court, but this is the opposite of that, this is the process of relaxing and letting life energy flow through you as you move. It's challenging but pretty inspirational stuff.


Here is a definition of Qi Gong:


Qigong[1] or Chi kung[2] (气功 or prana force) is the philosophy and practice of aligning breath, physical activity and awareness for mental, spritual and corporeal health, as well as the development of human potential.[3] It includes certain forms of martial arts[4] and the spiritual awakening to one's true nature.[5]



If anyone is looking for a new positive activity with benefits, I highly recommend this one.


I don't want you to mix up Qi Gong with FALUN GONG which is a variation on the exercise and breathing techniques that were then manipulated and then strained with Buddhist and Daoist philosophy as well as some strange stuff about life wheels in your abdomen and extra terristrials.

FALUN GONG has been banned in China (who considered it a cult) and you may have seen the practitioners around town with photos of Torture at the hands of the Chinese. Apparently FALUN GONG or FALUN DAFA was practiced by 70,000,000 Chinese before it was banned.



There is an wild 10 minute video on youtube showing a Chinese master manipulating Qi Gong energy for healing techniques. Here it is:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RAAB0dbc3Es



I am sure I will talk about this dynamic exercise again as I begin to get more benefits from it.

I am really pumped to experience everything it has been known to do for your health, wellbeing, and longevity. Not to mention circulation, digestion, skin enhancement, sexuality and stomach flab. (Not that I have ever experienced stomach flab)


Something needs to be flowing. I am looking forward to it. Wait, it is semi flowing tonight i think.


If I actually become proficient in Qi Gong, I would be happy to show the basic moves to anyone that wants to learn, that would really be a pleasure.


To be continued....





Rick

CHLOE IN THE AFTERNOON

There is something very soothing about finding a Cafe that you feel comfortable in.

If you live in some insane Metropolis like I do, it can often feel like a steel rod is subtlely being placed up your rectum every day. Where can you take refuge? The Cafe.


Today I have the pleasure of spending some time at Balzak's in the afternoon. It is a restored 1890's warehouse with a cozy open aired loft on the second floor. This is where I am dwelling for the day.


(Two other great Cafe's in Toronto are Rooster Coffee House overlooking Riverdale Park, and Dark Horse Expresso Bar, on Spadina and on Queen)


I am taking out my writing book and placing my Nikon camera on the table beside my Latte. I should probably use this camera. The lighting is divinely inspired.


What could I photograph? Well there is always the table, then the room, the art on the walls of course, the girl sitting by herself.


Hmm. The girl sitting by herself. She looks......monumental and Zooey Dechanel like.

(I just saw the film 500 days of Summer and can't get a couple of scenes with this woman out of my monkey mind)


That is one thing about Cafe's. If you have honesty and integrity and are not too pushy, there is a fairly good chance at a conversation with an attractive woman, if that is your thing.


I realize now I have placed myself in an uncomfortable position. If I don't go over to this total stranger and politely ask her if I can photograph her, I will be disgusted with myself.


Lost opportunity based on what......fear of rejection. This is a great photo opportunity, be polite and....don't fall in love (haha) ...............oh I think I am going to move over there now.....


Later


She was very sweet and said she was surprised that I noticed her.....What?
I took some great shots, we talked for a brief minute and now I am going to send her them by email. See, life is not that bad.



Cafe's.........



I might be slightly influenced by this Alain de Botton book I am reading. Profound and insightful book on the "love" experience or lack of it... All about CHLOE..Hmm Chloe....... (Thanks Cory by the way for the author suggestion)


Chloe and this girl Samantha across from me and Zooey, and the spring...........What are they putting in my Latte?



Excerpt:


"The Island was packed with tourists, but we rented motorcycles and....CHLOE's holiday story was dull, but its dullness no longer counted against it.

I had ceased to consider it according to the secular logic of ordinary conversations. I was no longer concerned to locate within it either insight or humour, what mattered was not so much what she was saying,
as the fact that she was saying it-and that I had decided to find perfection in everything she could utter.

I felt ready to follow her into every anecdote (there was this shop that served fresh olives....), I was
ready to love every one of her jokes that had missed its punchline, every reflection that had lost its thread.

I felt ready to abandon self absorption for the sake of consummate empathy, to catalogue every one of CHLOE'S memories, to become a historian of her childhood, to learn all of her loves and fears. Everything that could possible have played itself out within her mind and body, had promptly grown fascinating."


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There are many great intangible things that come with renewed mental and physical health. (Qi gong class today) I got a call from Stephen my close friend today, who just rang to say that the Positive Thinking mp3 that I sent his way, had made a big impact on his day.
Pretty cool.



It's good to be alive and in this Cafe. Do I really have to leave? Maybe I should get a real job.......But then I would have to miss Samantha and dealing with my fear.




Rick

PUBLIC FLOGGING OF THE OVERWEIGHT IS NOT ENTERTAINMENT

Am I the only person that has noticed the amount of new television programs that focus on so called "fat people?"


I feel that this group of people are being terribly exploited, dehumanized and unfairly made to walk some sort of new galvanizing social plank.


THERE IS SOMETHING TRULY SINISTER AND IMMORAL GOING ON HERE....


I had made a vow to get rid of my television a couple of weeks ago in an experiment of mind and soul that I am giving a try.


But before it is yanked from my world, I was conscious enough last night to realize, we have got ONE REVOLTING PROBLEM going on in our so called "reality entertainment".


Why are we so interested in this side show of pushing people with weight issues to be so called "better people?" We don't care that much about ourselves in our own world so why now do we care so much about these people?



I tuned in for 5 minutes of "The Biggest Loser" to see this group of adults literally made to roll around in the mud with each other in some sort of bizarre competition. The producers had somehow forgotten about their human dignity. I don't think it was any coincidence that they were being portrayed as actual "pigs".


A couple minutes later, this poor woman was trying to run up a steep hill with some buffed trainer attached to her by a leash of some sorts. He kept tugging on her, making her fall and kept berating her in the process. She kept falling and weeping and he kept barking at her. It was really disgusting.
She looked like she was going to die or pass out.

IS THIS ENTERTAINMENT?


I changed the channel and came upon MTV where they were having a reunion show on some show called "I USED TO BE FAT". Never heard of the show, but it was one of the most ridiculous spectacles I had ever witnessed.

Something about how cathartic it was to be back with the rest of us, on a road going, I don't know where. In a world that was pure fantasy... The Hostess should be retired at 20 for obsequiousness and never allowed to utter another word again.

Someone should attach a leash around her ass and start a new show "I used to be skinny and a moron".


I quickly researched the other shows out there...... "Heavy, Huge, More to Love, Ruby, Drop Dead Diva, I used to be fat, Dance your ass off, The Bad Girls Club (plus sized), The Biggest Loser". Apparently there are more on the way. Are bells not going off?



Why do we want to pick on this group?. We are stigmatizing them, hating on them, and making them a social target, far beyond the years of incredible prejudice that they already have to face in their daily lives, probably from early childhood.


Some doubters who don't really care, and share a good "fat joke" here and there, might say that it's not just "fat people" but the media feels free to pick on any disenfranchised group. They will go after anybody in the name of dollars and cents.

Does this fact make it remotely ok?


Addicts seem to be right up there as well. If you have a life and death problem, lets film the person vomiting on the floor of some obscure bathroom somewhere with a needle in their arm.......why? Because we the "people" want to help you? Probably not....


.. because we want to feel that we are superior to you, and feel free to make our already shaky self-image a little more secure while we take our zoloft, beat our kids and cheat on our husbands. Probably.



People with a few more pounds on them, may have a slower metabolism or may actually be dealing with FOOD ADDICTION. Emotional eating is something we all can relate to; "comfort food" is something we start to gravitate towards in childhood. I know I did.


These issues need to be dealt with by getting at the core of the individuals need to push down certain types of feelings with food. This is not a question of WILLPOWER AND THEY ARE NOT SIMPLY LAZY INDIVIDUALS.


In any case, lets stop making these people out to be LESS HUMAN. It's not ok and it's not entertaining.


In the future maybe we will simply murder criminals on live tv and then get a direct comment from their families as it happens. Could happen.....


By the way, according to a health study at Harvard University, this idea that overweight people are committing suicide with their life styles, is highly controversial since the study shows that in the end, you only lose a couple of years off a full life by being overweight.

There is no impending doom, that the rest of society should feel comfortable just intervening on behalf of the greater good..Whatever that means.


You lose many more years off a full life by...... worrying, micromanaging others, fad dieting, binge drinking, anger mongering, etc etc etc....


Yes I understand the argument about universal healthcare costs and that true obesity needs to be treated and can be life threatening......Moving on......................Leave these people alone and move on..................


DO WE REALLY NEED TO PARADE THE WORST CASE SCENARIOS OUT ON TV LIKE FORGOTTEN GLADIATORS EERILY CHOSEN TO GET CHARACTER ASSASSINATED BY SOME NEO-NAZI NAMED JILLIAN MICHAELS ON PRIME TIME, AS THE SALES OF SALT FREE MARGARINE GO UP ALL OVER NORTH AMERICA. Cmon, don't we have more integrity than this. I am sure we do, somewhere.


In my mind, it's just about human dignity. We have obviously lost touch with this concept.


I just saw an article online that suggests that a study was done that shows that being overweight attracts bullying.. It is implying that the problem lies with the group that is being picked on, instead of looking at the nature of anger and insecurity in the perpetrators. Disturbing, that we want to point the finger of blame at the "fat" for simply existing. This reminds me of something.



I am not overweight right now and may never be, however I have a plethora of other challenges to deal with.


I want to feel that I am at least living in a world that gives me the freedom to allow myself to feel good about who I really am, or who I am becoming.

Does it really matter what I look like on the outside? Sadly, in this society it obviously does and it's alot more disgusting and dark than even that.



These brave people don't need my two cents, but these TV shows should be banned as an infringement on human rights. What is coming next? How much more base can it go?



I go it....Some sort of competition between Anorexics and Bulimics? Why don't we use an old concentration camp as the backdrop, I am sure the ratings would skyrocket if we could get the clearance for that. We could sell alot of Toothbrushes during that broadcast.





Rick

AFTER THE BOMBS SUBSIDE

I have a female friend who was acutely honest when she was asked what the hell she was looking for in life.......and she replied...."I just want somebody to love me"






Lyrical interlude:


and after the bombs subside
and this long low campaign
calls it good for the night

we meet in the streets
will we meet in a bar's cold light?
we grip at our hands
will we hold just a little more tight?

after the bombs
after the bombs
subside



I think I know what she is talking about. It's not uniquely a female thing.


With all the complexities in processing a world that seems to be at an ever changing flux and discourse, the sentiment may seem a little bit naive, but this is not about depth of character, just old fashioned honesty.



If you are in a relationship with a person and they are always focused on themselves and how they appear to the outside world, they can't see the real you. (or have lost interest in trying). You might need to make an adjustment. (But what do I know)



We want somebody to understand us, to watch our back, to get that strange joke from left field we make, and more importantly to say ..."it's ok" when we experience a manic or depressive day, or feel that it's all just a bad play.



I hate to generalize, but alot of men I know are caught in the trap of trying to appear together, showing you the house and the cars and making the receding hairline look good with the right mustache. (I am not impervious to these types of projections from Tony Monnero hell)



Underneath, they really are lacking in true spirituality and are massively insecure. But apparently their penis is still in working order.




Woman seem to inherently understand that without the closeness and the feelings to share, you come away with something worse than nothing. Something abhorrent and closely aligned with the dark void of missed opportunity.



I heard a story that somebody told me about refugees that were stuck in the bottom of some ship for days without food and finally drifting into some southern US port.


After they were taken into the barracks and were examined and debriefed etc, somebody noticed that they were all talking about the interpersonal relationships that went on in the ship...The people that went out on a limb to tell the other person that they loved them etc. The passion and romance of their futures.


.. This is what really seemed to matter to them, even as they were facing dehydration and deportation. Sounds crazy.



We want to feel a connection. It's obvious. It's real and sometimes it's even fear based..but If we don't feel an honest connection around us, there seems to be this large hole that we need to fill. Alcohol, drugs, food, sex, we'll substitute all of these, just to escape the feelings. This is absolutely one hundred percent what I would do.



The connection is there and is waiting. You just can't always dictate the timing involved.



While you are waiting, you might want to work on some personal fears and anxieties, conquering them with optimism, positivity and a real decision to be stronger and push through them.



I know that I often want to say to this person or that person...lets give it one more try. I still have it, and we can do it...If you liked me then, you are going to love me now. However, laughably, it feels like forcing the past into the present. Possible? I think am too healthy to ask them to reconsider in the real world.



It is time to be more open to the synchronicity and the situations that are unfolding around me daily.(sometimes ridiculously slowly)...I sound a little like Deepak Chopra there, but I think it is valid observation.



Human entanglements and mining for that special person who will have your back forever, this is the real drug.... and it is ubiquitous.


In the meantime, it is all there for us, we have to just uncover it.
Even then, the struggle continues. But it's a better struggle.


No, this isn't some obscure rant about mating, I don't think so anyway.



Your future might not have to be adjusted after all.......



And for the person that I am clandestinely focusing on tonight, we will speak soon.......after the bombs subside.


Rick