I have been working with a man who is the owner and director of a unique rehab program in Alberta.
This is not my full time career, I simply have had the opportunity to get close to his work by helping people on my end here in Ontario find the place. get more information, and see if it is a good fit for their needs and challenges.
If this issue doesn't personally effect you in any way, you most certainly know somebody in your inner circle that has been hit hard. On the larger more social scale, addictions cost North Americans 100's of Billions of dollars a year and are a leading cause of death.
As many months go by personally since I last ingested a drink or a drug, I sometimes feel like I should give something back. An inspirational idea or a personal observation, anything that might help some of my friends that I know struggle with this area of their lives.
I am no guru but I know alot about this subject and about the professional options that are available, public and private. (I can at least offer an informed opinion)
I am not trying to recruit anybody, this isn't Rick's marketing call on a Sunday night. There is absolutely no pressure.
If you want to talk to me about any struggles that you may have in any areas such as alcohol or drugs, smoking, eating issues or depression, I would be glad to speak to you on the phone or by email, and hopefully give you some powerful ideas and possible solutions that are out there for you.
Maybe you don't want to commit to solutions.....That is fine too. It sometimes feels good to just talk about things, with no judgement, agenda or pressure. I know this for sure.
If you are not sure if you have a problem. Here is the now infamous Alcohol Quiz from John Hopkins university. You can replace the word alcohol with another substance if you wish.
http://alcoholism.about.com/od/tests/l/blquiz_alcohol.htm
Here again is my info:
rlynn1@gmail.com or 416-655-0751.
Maybe you are drinking 6 beers a night every time that you feel emotional or maybe you need to buy a bag of cocaine every friday night, just in case you meet a lady.
The process of starting to question yourself about your lifestyle choices, although it feels shitty is actually a very good beginning.
Forget about the "what if somebody I know hears that I am looking at this issue, they will think I am over the edge". The odds are simply that they will pat you on the back or have figured this one out from a distance a long time ago, but didn't want to tell you. Do it for yourself, forget what your partying friends have to say, they will abandon you 9 times out of 10 in the end anyway.
Maybe you always felt like you "didn't fit in". This by the way is one of the most common feelings that addicts articulate. Maybe you always felt better when you could just take the edge off.
What is the edge? Social awkwardness? Boredom? Fear? Whatever it is, you know that you can get rid of it for a few hours with substance A or substance B, or a combination of both.
As humans we gravitate towards pleasure and away from pain.. They say that in almost every situation, we are looking to feel better. Nothing is ever good enough, we want to feel better.
The problem isn't only a moral one. You are effecting your children (they might start to pick up in their early teens) or your friends are a nervous wreck wondering if you are just going to die on them one night soon.
The challenge might be that you have just crossed the line physically. What used to be fun and was really a solution to your problems, is now more of the real problem than anything else you're dealing with. Your body is forever altered. You can't reach the same high anymore. That really sucks.
You might swear to yourself behind closed doors that no matter how much anybody wants you to quit using your special vice, it ain't happening, not in this lifetime. They can go jump in the lake because the reality is that you are never giving it up.
You are not giving up that Vodka, or the Coke or that Burger under any circumstances.
It's your life. Ok..... then, keep doing what you are doing but continue to monitor your causes and effects. Write down in a journal all the seemingly unconnected events that seem to be happening to you and your loved ones on a weekly basis. Any reason to change the equation?
When you think you might be done, the time could be ripe to take some personal responsibility and duck out of that pity party. Easy for me to say from my computer.
I will say this as well. You can crawl out from behind the ruins of guilt and shame and emerge honest, trustworthy and self-deprecating no more. Drop the ego, forgive yourself and start moving on. One day at a time. (Sound familiar?)
The American Medical Association classifies alcoholism as a disease.....lets understand the ramifications of that statement but not go there right now.
TAKE A BREAK AND TAKE A LOOK
At the very least, it feels good to cleanse your body for a week and to see where you're at. Emotionally, financially, relationship wise, career wise, family wise. Do some personal writing about your experience. Is everyone on your case?
Take lots of fluids and fresh vegetables in. Throw in some vitamin B-12. (that painful butt injection would be more than good if you can get it) Maybe some time in a sauna if you can manage it.
There are many solutions out there for people that really want them. You simply have to decide if you might be one of those people. Tell your party buddies the truth, you need to get off the merry go round for a few days. They should understand that much.
There is absolutely no shame in it. (Don't start taking their inventory and telling them that they are much worse than you are, and they should do the same, this is definitely a no win situation, slightly amusing, but a no win situation)
If you want abstinence, sobriety and health, are you willing to go to any lengths to obtain it and all the good things that will eventually come with it?
Don't believe that little dark voice inside your head that says that you will have to join a cult and give up all your fun for the rest of your life. Don't believe the dark voice that says there is no way you are going to do it.
Self talk is very important. The words that we say to ourselves, about our lives, need to be more positive. ..... Usually they are unbearably critical. This is really toxic.
(At some point you might want to start your day by saying something positive about yourself in the mirror, this takes time)
Your thoughts create your words, your words create your actions. Your actions become a measuring stick to who you are or who you think you should be. (This area is often out of balance with the inner self)
Lots to remember. Actually, number one thing is if you are thinking you need a break for whatever reason, just stop right now and give yourself a break. It might hurt, but do it. It's a good signal to your psyche for the future.
If somebody needs a medical detox, I have some information for you.
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Oh, and one more thing. RESENTMENTS..lose them......."He did this to me. She said that about me. I could kill that person,they just don't understand me.... pour me another one"...
Take a look at them, resentments tend to be one of the number one causes of using and justifying it. Even if you know this, people can be annoying, impossible to get over them all and be like Ghandi I know.
Personal story, I used to be friends with this Woman that
I was sleeping with off and on who was a heavy user, she had an issue with the fact that I was friends with a mutual friends children, i loved them. She told me...."you will never be in those kids lives, more than I am , I will do all I can to make sure of that" She had no kids of her own and was extremely possessive of these two kids.
I didn't realize how serious she was . After I jerked around during a couple of years, travelling and stumbling into function after function, she made it clear to the kids and the family that I was crazy. A lunatic that was at the very least a terrible role model, and at the very best a sociopath.
I really loved these kids, and as her mad plan seemed to perpetuate, I couldn't see or talk to the kids or send gifts etc anymore. Even as I was teaching children English in Asia, i was banned.
I started to grow a very big resentment towards this person. When I pictured their unattractive face, arrogance and lack of depth I could quickly become incensed and see red. I started to figure out elaborate plans that I would stew on, that not only would bring a terrible humiliation to her, but show her for the ....blank that she really was. Why?
Moral of this story.Nobody is perfect, we all suffer..she has to deal with the energy of her own choices..Let it go..You can't change the person, only the way you react to them.
I finally had to give this resentment up completely. I just did it. I needed to. Once i did, my life became lighter in many ways. I wished her well in my mind and hoped that she succeeded in what ever she was doing.
Took me a while, but I got there. I never really thought about her again. This is the kind of thing I did for me, it was just too much to carry around on my already loaded plate. It really worked well in that blockage area. I use this technique with all major resentments now.
So, think about how serious you are about getting healthy. Try not to awfulize your entire world as you are thinking about it. You are human. Reframe it... If you really want it, you can do it.
Everything starts with an idea, then an action and then a real move towards a different lifestyle.
If you really want it, it can be done. No more patios but lots more quality time with the kids. (I am not referring to any Fathers I know specifically)
There is an old saying that states.........ADDICTION is a little like slow dancing with a BEAR........the dance is over, when the BEAR says it is.
Something to watch out for.
Note to readers:
I am not the new "poster boy" for clean living, simply a person with some relevant information that could be of some help".
That's it for tonight. I hope I wasn't rambling, there is so much to say.
Rick
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