THOSE MAYANS ARE RUBBING ME THE WRONG WAY

"This is the end, my only friend the end, of all elaborate plans, the end..................

of everything that stands the end............"

I was looking at a pop art poster pasted on a dirty construction site that featured the word "MAYANS" on it. I glanced over at my spiritual cohort and joked..." Are you feeling the fear?"

Her response seems absolutely hilarious to me now. "FUCK THE MAYANS" she said without missing a beat.

My god, what got into her Crunchberries?

I interpreted her Nihilistic pearls of wisdom as meaning, civilization is not coming to an end on December 21, 2012 as predicted idiot. Take a course, do some research, get a life BOZO the clown. So I thought maybe it was a sign that I should.

Fair enough Bambi Bambenek, but what about the fact that filmmaker George Lucus, the very knowledgeable and forward thinking nerd billionaire believes that the prediction holds some very serious water. " Take a look at the movement of the Tectonic plates" he muttered over a plate of mashed yeast. Seriously.

I am not going to regurgitate the 10 minute version of who these people were and what made them a fascinating people. They simply were.

However I will say that there is a disturbing theory out there that most of the modern world holds true, and it is completely fallacious.

We believe that we as a people are much more sophisticated than any of our ancestors could possibly be. We have cryogenics, we have computer chips, nuclear technology, genetic modification, Gaspar Noe and Mike Huckabee. Advance to the nearest Railroad.

How could the Mayans, the Ancient Egyptians or even the Sumerians have anything on us?

In short, the answer is that in many different aspects of existence they were much more advanced than we were. Spiritually? That is however another tangent that I am not going to attempt right now. (and definitely not my area of expertise)

So I wanted to talk about the FEAR part. (There is an interesting look at the acronym of the word Fear.... Fuck Everything And Run..........Or.. Face Everything And Recover)

Most of us humanoids are nervous, closet atheists these days, so what gives with the end of the world prediction? Or in other words. Is a couple of years enough to Enter the Void and to obtain some sort of closure before the big event?

(Although many of us have heard or are aware of the ancient Mayan calender, a lot of us either don’t understand it or simple don’t know how it works. Well to start the ancient Mayans had a very accurate understanding of our solar system and its cycles. Their long count calender is most significant of their calenders because according to Mayanist (people who study Ancient Mayan People and culture) it ends on the specific date of December 21 2012, which coincides with modern day astronomers, who believe that is about the time that our planet alignment takes place with the galactic equator.

Modern scientists have a theory that is quite similar to the Mayan prophecies of the planets alignment. This theory is called pole shifting, in which the position of the north and south pole change, which could cause world wide disaster, massive tsunamis could wipe out coastal cities, hurricanes on every continent, it would be major catastrophe, unlikely as it seems a Princeton University study suggest the poles have shifted before and that the north pole was in the middle of the pacific, which would put Alaska at the equator.

This doomsday date has been prophesied for thousands of years by the Mayans, Zulus, Incas, Hopi Indians, and many other ancient civilizations. Some believe it is a day of enlightenment, some believe the pole shift theory, and some believe that gods will come that day. Whatever the case may be and with some many different scenarios I hope the best one plays out.)

I am not convinced that anything at all is going to occur and I hope nobody else is. Could this really be the "end of days" that was predicted or will I actually have to sit through The Ice Capades one more time.

To just come out and say....."Fuck the Mayans", seems a little bit over the top, even for me.

I think that to face it straight on without the anxiety piece and say "what am I going to absolutely accomplish in the next 700 days that has some real meaning" given the fact that we could live for another hour or two years or forty. This could be used for a positive twist.

See I might spin this into some good old fashioned life coaching. When faced with a Mayan doomsday prediction, always look on the bright side of life!!

Or the more nebulous idea......what kind of food were the Mayans into? Did they have weight issues? Did they have a good sense of humour. Apparently it goes along way.

If we can trick our monkey minds into some sort of suspension of disbelief for the greater good, then perhaps we should get on it.

There is no calender, and time doesn't really exist in the quantum world. Or that is what I keep telling this old heart of mine, that's been broke a thousand times. I digress.

See you on December 21st, 2012..............................................................

Disclaimer: If you want to just travel INTO THE VOID right away. Feel free to take the trip, there may not be any substitute.

Rick

CELEBRITY SKIN

When we have an opportunity to meet celebrities or visionaries in the arts, it always seems very surreal. We are in limbo, somewhere in between defining our own character as we project on a total stranger this spanner in the works.

Is it because of the REALITY TV mentality that exists now, coupled with the place somebody on a pedestal just until we can rip them down aesthetic.

I was fortunate in this respect as a teenager because of my mother working with a celebrity. I was flung into a few environments where meeting these people was automatic. On many occasions I made a complete ass out of myself. What did I just say?

For example, I felt quite comfortable meeting a young, catlike and friendly Suzanne Sommers; not quite as comfortable talking with the legendary cerebral songwriter Kris Kristofferson. Iwas completely Tongue tied when meeting Gordie Howe and I was having a perpetual out of body experience when faced with Charleze Theron.

Strange days.

I also always seem to run into random celebrities on the streets of Toronto. Perhaps I am that stalker.

Just the other day I was walking with a friend and I pointed out Meg Ryan and John Mellencamp hailing a cab outside a hotel. My friend didn't believe me and she said that I was probably delusional.

(I love my aunts story about coming face to face with her idol Johnny Carson in the 80's. They were walking towards each other down the NBC hallway and just as they came into the same air space.......she put her head down and pretended not to notice him. She then ran back to see where he had gone, but the moment had passed)

Like most people growing up in the late 70's. I was sure that after being flown down to Florida for a commercial, celebrity lifestyle was coming my way.

Self paid trips to the Bahamas unescorted at 16, just didn't happen by accident. My thinking seemed to be that things came easily with simple attention. Charm was more important than hard work in achieving goals.

Perhaps somebody should have punched me out in an alley at that very moment and told me that this kind of thinking would lead me straight to a new kind of "hell". ( complete with white walls)

I would soon be in a therapists office, identifying with a book called "drama of the gifted child". Oh, and I was being filmed. The underlying message being.....don't let your kids do this, or else they may turn out like this poor guy.

Funny in retrospect. The truth should set me free.

Recently I had the luck of sharing some time with an author that I admired. Through a series of seemingly random events on a weekday, I was sitting waiting for a table at a restaurant when this gentleman approached. He seemed to be waiting for somebody.

I will refrain from using his name, just in case he remembers mine.

We obviously were going to have a couple of minutes together so I broke the ice with some random joke. Seemed to work. The conversation got on to our Hockey team and the Canadian mentality and somehow onto Shannon Tweed and Elton John adopting a baby with a Canadian guy. It was now obvious that I was completely aware of his celebrity.

I felt that I wanted to ask him something a little deeper about writing, before my time was up, so I gave it a shot.

RL " If you don't mind, can i ask you a question about your books?"

CP "Sure"

Speak Manchild.

RL "They say that there is no story without conflict. Conflict defines a character. Yet, your characters seem to just exist. They are incredible, I love them , yet, but I don't see alot of conflict going on, maybe I have the definition wrong"

What in hell did I just say?

CP "Are you a writer?"

RL " No just a random fan"

CP " In drama, action represents both form and content. The action and conflict aren't just the way you tell a story, but they convey the meaning of it too.

Most of my action is internal. That's the cascading landscape I am looking at. (beat) On most days"

RL (Laughing) "Well that went sailing over my head, but I appreciate it, I needed that"

CP (smiling) "Anytime, pleasure talking to you Rick"

And off he went to greet his girlfriend, or wife , or mistress or whatever she was.

Again I was strapped into my surreal chair. However, 2hours later....... It was back to my reality, home to buy some lettuce and some pizza pops at the local Loblaws.

Strange days.

Maybe I will do some writing. The problem. ..... I need to create something that is cascading.

Something needs to fall I think.

Rl.

SOMEWHERE IN TIME

I was preparing to settle down for a night of junk food and College Football. I was looking up the Odds for the game online and generally trying to lose myself in the process.


I wandered into a site that led me to an advertisement for the new film called "Somewhere". Sofia Coppola, Stephen Dorf, The Chateau Marmont, Dakota Fannings little sister. It all seemed like an interesting combination.


From there my mind did a little jump to a memory of an old movie with Christopher Reeve and Jane Seymour called "Somewhere in Time".

I loved that romantic old film. I went to see it with my first serious girlfriend who I was madly in love with at the time.


Perhaps a little sad, but........before I knew it I was watching it again online. 30 yrs later ..Stagevu...


One of the things that struck me, seeing it again, was that the message seemed so clear this time. I will elaborate on that.


Warning: What follows might be crazy and on the maudlin side.



The story centers around this young playwright who after celebrating the successful opening of his play in 1979 is visited by an elderly woman. She looks into his eyes, hands him a beautiful old watch and says "come back to me". Then she just walks away satisfied.



What follows is a bitter sweet love story. He becomes obsessed with a photo of the same woman when she was young. She is incredibly beautiful, with a subtle depth to her smile.


He has to figure out how to go back in time in order to fulfill their destiny. He does. When he first sees her back in 1912 by the water, she says to him "Is it you?". Oh man.


They literally only have one day together. The happiest day of their lives. The day of a lifetime. Ultimately to be taken away. It's crushing.


RACHMANINOFF RHAPSODY on a theme of PAGANINI OP.43 variation xviii is played over and over again in the background. Playing on the viewers mind and on the characters minds.


I won't give away the ending, which may be interpreted as uplifting. Although you will have to fight back the waterworks to get to that realization.


The reason that this resonates so much with me is not really about watching another movie. Yes, sometimes it has that bad 80's look to it and the usual over the top acting. However, Time has a very powerful message.


Perfect moments exist and then they are gone.


I don't want to be presumptuous or condescending to some of my younger friends when I talk about age. When I was younger I certainly felt equipped emotionally to deal with life.



The thing that you realize when you get older is that..... certain moments and the magnitude of the feelings attached to those moments will never repeat again in this lifetime.


You will have other moments. Different moments. More refined and deeper moments perhaps......but those moments on a sunny day..... laughing and kissing the woman you love out in a field (or whatever it was). These moments don't really exist anymore. They are gone.


They were perfect. They are perfect. They live on in memory but we forget so quickly.


The other issue we have with such memories is that we keep trying to recapture them. Impossible. There is the ultimate let down, but most of us still have to try.


It's so difficult; because society is saying we have to move on with our lives, sometimes against our will.


Be responsible. Take a course. Pay the mortgage. Bring up children. Bury our loved ones.


We try to be better people. To do the best we can with the challenges and learn. To help others cope along the way.


In the end, I would give it all up, just to be back there again one more time. To be able to stay there on that dock, on that sunny day with her. Forever. I wouldn't need anything more. Play that music again.


That's not reality though. Reality is harsh and less forgiving. Now, some of us take medications so we don't have to deal with these types of realities. (I am not taking any for the record, so instead i write this and you have to take the medication)


I don't want to be depressing. We might have many more of these special moments, and time will stand still for a second while we are living them.


It will stand still long enough for you or me to say the right thing. To really get through to that person. To let them know why this matters. This moment matters more than they can possibly know. Why?


You may never see them again and they are going to have to learn how to forget. We are programmed to forget and to move on. It must be for some sort of misguided survival purpose.


If you are having one of these surreal epiphanies with somebody now... Hit yourself. IF IT ALL SEEMS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE.. Realize it. Speak about it. Hold on to it. Laugh about it. Thank a higher power for it.


I suppose the film did have an impact on me again. I am having flashes of special moments bombard me all over the room here...It was all in their eyes.


I should move on. It's definitely more healthy. Isn't there a football game on TV.
Turn the sensitivity button off Rick.


RICK

KAFKA ON MY SHORE

Surviving the negative energy and fallacious expectations that New Years Eve tends to bring out in the Urban Neurotics has to be handled with care.


From the November Christmas Lights to the Online Dating Sites. Hey, I sense a little rhyme. Perhaps a little groove. Very little.



Negotiating this time of the year is truly a Kafkaesque experience.


Live in the moment, but it's "normal" to think back a little..... To the buildup to the new decade. Past years.... I don't dwell, but I do like to take a little voyage of the mind.


The death in the family. The present buying for my first girlfriend. Waking up from New Years Eve and finding a stranger straddling my toilet.


New York and the carriage ride. Rescuing a date from the top of a skyscraper.


Experiencing the loneliness of needing to squeeze a kiss out of my good friends date, just as the clock strikes twelve.

Starting the New Year in another continent.


Then there is the old standard of waking up to find myself in another dimension.
It was nice to wake up to French Toast instead this year.



I tend to take a quick inventory of the close people in my life over the years. Where are they now? What were their choices? Are they people that I can still admire for their fearlessness, or are they people that tend to settle? Do I care? Should I send them some light?


I have to be careful when I go in this direction. Judgement is most often negative for me. If I spot it, I got it.


I don't want to let my mind start saying... "Hey that guy has been doing the same thing for 10 years, he will never change, he doesn't see his limitations as a challenge, he doesn't add one infinitesimal creative thought to this existence. What is the point?


Let them be, they have the freedom to make their own choices. Who am I to judge? What could the set of prolific criteria actually be anyway?.... Parenting= Idiocy and food intake over limitations....squared? That's actually a hostile thought. No way to start the calender year.


There is a subtext coming.


I see some people that didn't start off as mercurial enigmas. They didn't walk into a room and immediately turn any heads.

However, their drive, self-confidence and balance has been really impressive, I admire them on many levels.


We all make little decisions that build up to lifestyle choices. Many people are happy being the center of their self created "circle" of friends. No criticism needed.

There is something comforting in texting the same 5 people day after day. These people are coming with you for the entire ride. Wow. They must really like you. Or am I really that fascinating?


You are a big big fish in a very small pond. It's Kafkaesque but it's most people's reality. (What is the largest pond available?)


We go forward into a new decade with hope though. (Let's not think about the Korean crisis)


For the people I know well, this last year had alot of ups and downs; some serious challenges. Socially it was tough and physically we almost didn't arrive at all.

I admire the fight and I admire the tenacity it took to get here.


To the people that are no longer in my life. I hope you find that special happiness that you have been looking for.


To the sports team that has been breaking my heart for decades. Please show me some mercy or some kind of sign. Anything. I need to build on something man.


Not taking myself too seriously is a good way for me to negotiate these first few weeks of the new year.


I may be doing some world travelling soon and I still have a few weeks left for my usual angst to manifest; over neurotic beautiful woman and ultimately the absence of time.


RL JAN1