BIG SKY COUNTRY AND FORGIVENESS

A couple of ideas were going around in my monkey mind today. "Constantly living in the residual thoughts of the past is toxic" and "We are made of Stardust" I remember trying to figure out why and how this could possibly be true? I live here in the isolated body, amongst pain and suffering and people hurting from their neurotic daily problems....How could I possibly be made of something as spectacular and cosmis as a star? Well, it is true, how it relates to what tangeant I am going in I am not sure yet though. The reason why, is that Energy can never be created nor destroyed, and everything that ever existed always exists. Our bodies are energy plain and simple, we are all connected, and yes to the stars. Some days however, I just am not feeling it.

I had an idea, if I can't sell my screenplays and my bank account reads zero, I could do something about it. I could either, work in some mindless position and write on the side or perhaps I could form my own company and somehow benefit people that are suffering from addictions.. Now somehow, by putting that energy out there it has happened. I am still not sure how lucrative the compensation is going to be, but if I just hold onto the thought, and this moment and the company name Egoless Mind Ltd...I am feeling very good about this.

Today I created an Ad that will run in a Toronto paper that features a COFFIN and reads....SUBSTANCE ABUSE COST CANADIANS OVER 40 MILLION DOLLARS LAST YEAR (COFFIN) and...IF YOU LOSE YOUR SON OR DAUGHTER, WILL YOU REALLY CARE ABOUT STATISTICS...I don't know, the head cheese here okayed the AD for publication. At the bottom of the AD it say's to suffering people to CALL ME!

Responsibility comes in many strange synchonistic packages, this is one of them.
Tonight,with a couple of days before I leave, the clients were sitting around a campfire holding a seminar on SELF FORGIVENESS... As they were going around offering their pearls of wisdom before this swine, my mind was drifting out into the sky. I hadn't seen a sky that looked so HIGH UP, like KANSAS in THE WIZARD OF OZ. It was truly remarkable. Then they said Rick do you have anything to add........

Something flowed out of my mouth....Taking responsibilty for my life I am on the road to doing that, one day at a time, (they watched) but I said....SELF FORGIVENESS..you try daily, you make progress, and sometimes you fall back. It's a work in progress. What the hell did I say.What kind of shit is that, Oh well. Thankyou RICK.

Who knows, somehow that sky was created along with those weird ass clouds. Maybe this is KANSAS, but you know, I am not in KANSAS anymore.

SNOWY SUMMER DAYS AND A LOOK DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE

Woke up here yesterday with great anticipation for the new day. Looked outside and it was SNOWING. Cats were CRYING, the residents here looked like they wanted to go to the nearest pawn shop, whip down that bankcard and purchase a firearm.
However, with my new ritual of gratitude in the morning and visualization, I looked on it with some humour. Why? Because it was completely insane, right down the rabbit hole. Could I think of 6 impossible things before breakfast, hell yeah, let's start with an environment where as I am told, it could snow in the morning and reach 20 degrees in the afternoon. These people have a different mindset, now granted they are oil workers, farmers, and good old folk in a kind of George Bush kind of way. (That is a broad generalization)
I am actually working with a publicist here who is from an Indian ethnicity and speaks in the same tongues as I do......ENERGY, INTENT, MANIFESTING DESTINY, LIKE ATTRACTING LIKE, CAUSE AND EFFECT, etc etc. So yesterday I decided to create Advertising and include the owner of the facility in it, with a testimonial about how his son was PUT IN A COMA by a drunk driver for 30 days and how it motivated him to open Serenity.
He loved the Ad and by the end of the day was saying how fruitful he believed our relationship would become. I had no idea at the time that I would be performing INTERVENTIONS in the future in Toronto, but I digress. I watched the film....WHAT THE BLEEP DO WE KNOW....and then before lunchtime I had gathered my publicist friend SABRINA and we curled up to watch THE SECRET..as the snow pounded down..So we were manifesting our day that was a given. THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT...MAKE A GRATITUDE LIST.....and if I can add some Kabbalah in there.....LOSE THAT DARK EGO...

At night I was humbled to be scrambling around RED DEER in some sort of thrift store searching for a suit that might work here for a function we attended for a WOMANS SHELTER that also harbours ABUSED CHILDREN. The keynote speaker was THEO FLEURY whose main message was one of power after communicating his troubles with alcohol and drugs and sticking a gun in his mouth in his lonely Sante Fe condo, his believed ENTITLEMENT to those feelings because of his victimization by a hockey coach when he was a teenager. All very powerful.

The true synchronicity came when a brilliant female doctor and spiritual pysicisist got up there and talked about how she turned her life around after her only young son was killed in a car accident. Lots of POWERFUL EMOTIONS, noisemakers to mask the silence at one point, everyone singing the word LOVE out loud in unison, (an exercise that my male ego was screaming please make it stop) BELLY DANCERS.

What a great but strange night in my thrifty suit and my RABBIT HOLE mentality of simply OBSERVING a world that I had been thrust into based on intention and chance. On the way home it was near WHITE OUT conditions and I thought I saw a coyote on the side of the road; no it was a damn coyote. So far this little trip is more than I could have imagined, apparently I will be flying back for more snow and more pure energy at the end of JULY!

A MIND ONCE STRETCHED BY A NEW IDEA CAN NEVER RETURN TO ITS ORIGINAL FORM

There is something very touching and special brewing here in Alberta. (Other than the fact that it snowed 30 miles away from me last night) I have been fortunate enough to be flown here to this wonderful facility to take in the surroundings for a few days and then to create some advertising for them.

Yesterday I witnessed some spiritual events and bravery that were astounding and serendipitous.

These clients were taking part in a burning ritual around a campfire in which I was a part of. Surreal. After they torched their past literally and figuratively there were some speeches and then alot of hugging. Personally I don't frequent in this kind of bodily contact with strangers very easily, but this flowed. The energy was right.

I was then told about a smudging ceremony that had taken place in the main building a few days after a young man had taken his own life. Subsequently I was led to a stone that had been dedicated to him in this kind of rock garden symbolic cemetery on the hill. This was right out of GONE WITH THE WIND.

At night before I retired to my giant private trailer, I was part of a life skills class in which these brave recovering clients took turns pouring their hearts out in an exercise designed to help them deal with their feelings of anger and hurt, and a plethora of other emotions, directed at their parents.

Some clients expressed the pain of not being loved, or being set on fire, or in many cases neglected. I was dumbfounded at the candour of these people who are trying so hard to come to grips with their demons.

After returning to my trailer and watching the movie GHOST, I was struck with what I perceive as being a very good piece of work that I put together for them.

This morning I awoke at 5 am local time and felt lucky to be alive, in the rain and the sleet, I proceeded to let the crying cat into my trailer for a little purring and relaxation time. This line from Ghost kept running through my head as I was playing with the cat......

"It's amazing Molly, the love inside, you take it with you. Then it was time for breakfast, something is brewing............

GOSSIP IS THE NEW PORNOGRAPHY

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Let me cut to the chase. I don't mind seeing a beautiful large breasted woman with a big bum emerging from a bubble bath, slightly banal but aesthetically pleasing in the morning. I am talking about watching it on the internet.

However, there are some sites that feature woman being screwed by these huge machines that look like they have jet engines or something. After they bring the woman naturally to 5 climaxes, she might just die for your viewing pleasure.

Judging by the models reaction, let's get rid of the men in their life and hire Eric Roberts as their publicist.

I don't have to Limbaugh you on the objectification of these woman in porn and the damage it does to society. Woman are objects in these cases, not the complicated humanoids we have come to love and pull our hair out over. Whatever negative energy you put out is what you are getting back my son.

Now when Micheal Murphy spoke the words "gossip is the new pornography" in 1979, it was clever and witty, but who knew how truly prophetic it would become.

Talk about cause and effect. With communication being as quick as lightening today, teenagers and adults all over the globe are slurring each others good names, for the sake of their egos.

The relationship to Porn is simply that Gossip is strangely and vaguely damaging to the planet as well.

We are so caught up in being better than, and why this person is such an ass.....we forget to be human, to reach out, to be creative. It's sick.

Let's objectify our neighbour. Why not get a machine? Oh yes, we already have one, and I am typing on it.

Pure intention and her profound lust for life

On some days my friend didn't have much of a penis (nor I) or certainly any balls to speak of for that matter.

She couldn't quote any Terrence Gorski (a trifle) or any RD Lang for that matter. Oh don't get me wrong, she was exceptionally well read, sometimes infuriatingly so. (For a cute hippie with a plethora of tattoos that resembled something from Bradbury on mescaline.

Trying to get my partner to name anything pre 1959 was, well like pulling teeth all so gently from a comatose Tom Ford.

Now this pseudo cannabis induced intellectual had many gifts, not to mention that she was extremely passionate in her moments between the sheets, actually a wizard. Spiritually connected.


Elaborating on the subjects of Musicals, Spices or the latest Ethiopian cuisine, Herbal teas or simply WATER, would bring out a passion and a vivacious desire to communicate, never before heard in the western hemisphere.

There was a burning desire to hit you over the head with the most minute detail that seemed meaningless to the PASSIVE LISTENER but meant everything to her.

She was truly a lovely soul, however I told her in no uncertain terms, that her passions and nuances were too loud and embarrassing and neurotic for a man of my stifled taste.

Shame on me. I was simply afraid to love her wholly and embrace her inner goddess; that special power that makes men shrink sometimes. Now these memories are repugnant to me.

I had a brush with mortality a couple of nights ago. All I could think about at the time was this ethereal wild child, and that I wasn't man enough to show my real insecurity. My real insecurity about getting in touch with my feminine side.

One day in the shower together she suggested playfully that I remember to wash my Weenus.

I sometimes muse about this moment and her other charming moments, that were all mine. I had no idea what she was referring to, and I often didn't.

I can now look outside of myself and realize that she was really helping me grow, as reluctant as I was to accept her terms at the time.

If I can only get you Oceanside................

I have just finished watching the documentary EARTHLINGS. Narrated by Joaquim Pheonix. This is a film that documents with never before witnessed behind the scene footage of the abuse of animals on our planet in many forms, from puppy mills , to pigs, to chickens, to whales, to leather issues to god knows what else. This was so hard to watch, it made Schindlers list seem like a cartoon.

I love animals and it is horrendous what we are putting these creatures through and ruining our planet and karma in the process. We are all complicit as well. I don't want to preach, but perhaps I will never turn a blind eye again.

Somehow I wanted to turn my mind off to the idea of how can these thinking creatures just escape their fate. Then I was thinking about how can the starving in Darfur escape their fate with just pure intention and thought. Can they?

THE SECRET tells us that like attract like and that it is as simple as just wishing hard enough for something. I want a new bike. I want a new bike . And eventually you will receive. Is this the real lesson of the new millenium.

How about, i want nothing that somebody else cannot appreciate.
I believe in positive thinking and affirmations however. I know that I will be together with the person I have focused on for the last many 24hrs. However, how it will play out will depend on many factors between the two of us at the time. Let me leave that for a second.

If I suddenly say. I will marry Queen Noor of Jordan. I will Marry Queen Noor. Is there any chance that my will can get that actually done. Doubtful, but not impossible. Or, I want to be an astronaut at 60 years old. Possible, maybe, if I buy a large company and buy myself into space. Didn't work for the In sync guy, or did it?

The point .......Can the reality of the animals fate be stopped by a higher consciousness? Can the starving in Africa get food if we stop feeding so much grain to the cows for consumption? Can I make anything happen and marry this woman and have a life based on morals and intuition? Maybe, I suppose she will be surprised if I make it happen, modestly, and by the way, I believe I have to do a little more daily on a global scale to live with myself.

RICK

Mercury in Retrograde or the Days Of Omar

I was told at the Kabbalah site that the Days Of Omar are with us now. A time when it is hard to draw on the natural positive energy of the universe. Or in laymans terms, a time to watch out for many things falling apart. This would include your intentions, your certainty, your restrictions to your reactive nature. Another friend who is more into basic Astrology, told me that Mercury is in Retrograde. Or in laymans terms..it is actually revolving around the sun in a different direction, causing all sorts of gravitational shifts and oddities. So in the past I would just say, hey I don't want to be a slave to some shifts in the universe, what ...can I not go down to the grocery store after 10pm due to the new moon. It is all a little too much for my sensibilities or lack of them.

However, who am I to brush this aside too easily? Considering I live in the 1 percent reality of the 5 senses, I am extremely limited, this is a given. In the 99 percent, this change in the energy of the universe is a given and not a big deal on the larger scale. If I don't recognize it in any shape or form, do I give the dark energy a larger theater to operate in my dramatic world. I think I do.

Yesterday was a strange day. Mercury was working on my head. I had a meeting with an interesting film writer/producer and poet downtown. In the morning however I had to take the beagle I have been minding for 3 weeks for her daily walk in the ravine.

After an hour in the ravine, I realized I had lost the leash. How was I going to get the dog home and go to the meeting. Perhaps carry her through traffic, no. Crisis. Narrowly averted by calling my dog loving aunt who brought over an extra leash.

After meeting with this woman, we were getting along well so I suggested a move to Kensington market for lunch on me. She seemed pleased..As I was in the middle of a conversation on the merits of French Film directors or something, I look up and there comes my ex girlfriend up the stairs in the back. I am confused. I break off the conversation, I excuse myself, the woman looks at me like....he seemed sane for the last hour...now what....I finally get up the nerve to approach my ex who is sitting with a friend. I poke her,(why poke anyone) she turns...strangely I read her face which is slightly uncomfortable, mercury at work...and I just grunt something out and go back to my table. I am totally disoriented and being flooded with adreneline directly into my stomach area. What is wrong with me. You are bound to meet somebody you don't expect to in a city of two million people after 4 months of not seeing their pretty little face. No...It's outside the 1 percent, it's synchrodestiny stuff and Mercury is playing with my head. I think I get it. My new friend still seems to be talking to me so, is it all in my mind?

Any moral to the story? Just that I really have no answers but need to be more proactive so I can witness these little moments more often and just roll with them!