Time marches and we adjust

 The world as I knew it has imploded in the last couple of years ...(Since my last post)

My photography continues to keep me sane through some personal challenges and of course the bigger threat of nuclear war that is being dangled in front of us daily.

We are resilient creatures, and on a personal level I feel that a few brushes with death have made me a better person one would hope anyway.  That doesn't mean I'm so great, nor balanced or zen like.

I have some ideas for a story and ideas for future photo books and I've just moved to a new apartment that has some old world charm and enough room for a photo studio . These are some good distractions and will help me close the gap between living a happy existence moment by moment or worrying about lack of energy, aging and immunity issues.

I spend time thinking about blurring images, shadows and time; whether it really is linear...in life and in art.

Moving forward, there is karma to pay...the butterfly effect and surely some unexpected joy on the way.

And...I am teaching many students English for the 7th straight year.

It's all finite and we are moving around the sun at 67000 miles an hour right now. But so what.

2022 Happy New year!

Life is short and yet we don't seem to make the most of our time.

We are always looking for a way to self sabotage, to criticize ourselves. Our minds are constantly judging instead of being.

I hate it when I hear the new age mantra..."you are good enough just as you are" it seems so saccharine and ridiculous. However there needs to be more attention paid to this idea I believe.

This is a tough time for people with the never ending pandemic and the collective anxiety and the fear it is bringing. 

My wish for the new year is that people will stop living in fear and move closer to a place of hope and creativity and light.

On a personal level, I've somehow navigated my way into a wonderful life, slightly surreal at times, but fucking wonderful with many opportunities for happiness, right here in the present moment...and that's all I could have hoped for 10 years ago.

God bless and talk soon.

Rick 

Taipei 2022

Nite thoughts on art...

 Photography and time.

As I purchase and play with more cameras I feel like I'm looking for the perfect image. I'm looking for the image that will let me sleep easy at night saying I have done my best.

Capturing moments that will never be able to be repeated. Timelessness.

Is there a dark innocence in preserving moments in a world where nothing gets preserved.

Our minds, our home, our enemy. We are always looking to solve the next problem. There is no rest in that special space between.

How do we keep our minds pure? Pure and free like the Galapagos Islands were 30 years ago.

We can only search for a purity in our art, because achieving purity in our daily lives is next to impossible.

That's what I am going for, more purity in my photography, more honesty.

Hopefully just the search will be enough.

Thoughts.

Transformative

John O'Donoghue has a book about beauty that is very beautiful in itself. I ordered it on a whim from eBay.

He talks about the beauty of nature and landscape and how it nourishes us and can be transformative.

We need something to inspire us during this ongoing pandemic and nature is my go to friend.

Even just absorbing the fragrant mountain forest outside my back window for a few minutes, especially after a rainstorm can rejuvenate me in surprising ways.

It's as if that little moment has reaffirmed some inner belief about beauty and now I can go back to my usual day of thinking about what's next.

I have a great place but I long to live in a small town over here, free of cars and free of people. Solitude with my wife and a dog and my camera and a simple life...

Maybe I can make that happen in a couple of years. For tomorrow it's back to work wearing masks on the subway , not exactly the aesthetic that I crave but necessary in the short term.

Rick

Moods

Time although it doesn't really exist in the universe, seems to be working against me in mine.

Another birthday is approaching and physically I feel more strained. 

(Ive been reading Bukowski again so I might need to go on a good rant...My world is so good and with so much promise, albeit it seems slightly diluted...no booze, no weed, no concerts, no unpredictability... my adrenaline constantly being blocked by this fucking medication)

There I feel slightly liberated in the moment here...

Teaching is a strenuous job physically and mentally, and I can definitely say that after three years of delivering the education...I'm tired.

I'm conflict free and life is good in so many ways, I really shouldn't complain.

My photography continues to save my soul everyday. My marriage is going swimmingly. 

I love my life...however on my last day off I feel like complaining about something...You know the feeling?

This is why I meditate...this inability to just be and enjoy the moment.

I'm off to enjoy nature...maybe that will help with my mood...

The stories we tell...

 

The winter is coming here on this Island only 80 miles from the Chinese mainland.

We have done incredibly well with Covid, no new local cases in months and only 7 deaths in total.  Hard to believe really, although our mask wearing commenced a lot earlier than most countries and continues to this day.

My home country Canada is really struggling with Covid and there is a big resurgence in cases right now. This second wave has been lethal all over the world.

It's very hard to watch as the world struggles with this and the mental health challenges that it has created seem too numerous to put into words. I believe that a new age is upon us and not the new spiritual age that some have predicted...but a new age of fear and isolation. It can definitely be eased with love and understanding and mindfulness. 

It may last all of 2021 which would mean another year without seeing my family and friends in person, an inconvenience that would be minor actually compared to people who have lost loved ones or their businesses or life savings.

Like many of us I hope for the best. Let's hope a new president might ease world tensions as well, especially in this area where it is extremely tense right now, with Chinese jets flying our coasts daily and threatening a take-over.

On a personal front my marriage is going swimmingly well and my new apartment is bright and quiet and overlooks a wonderful oxygen giving tropical forest. My job is secure and I have no conflicts or drama to speak of. 

Reading back on some of my recent posts I seemed to be either very proud, or almost bragging about my photography and my long term sobriety. I don't think this lack of modesty is actually a good state of mind to be in.  I am humbly thankful for it all.

Stay well my friends.

Married at last...

I AM MARRIED!

Let me state the obvious, I have had quite a full life with many exciting and sometimes toxic experiences...but I was always single. When I came across the world here... before covid was even a thought, I didn't do it to find a wife, I did it to find a new adventure because I was bored in Toronto.

Coming here has been the challenge that ultimately worked out. From the time I met my wife, I found her to be honest and pure, I don't think she has lied more than a handful or times in her entire life, its just not part of her DNA. She accompanied me on my first live TV thing I was doing here to sell a product, it was hardly art, but because it was live to many locals,  I was super nervous. I looked over and in the wings watching was this new friend of mine.  From that point on I felt like maybe I needed to explore a relationship with this sweet girl.  She was 40 and I was 55, so I had no idea if this would be something that would be feasible here in the East.

However, it just grew to this beautiful friendship and although her parents were Taiwanese Muslims and very strict with her, somehow we have managed to tie the knot.  It feels great, and I hope I can remain strong and consistent and kind for her as I pass into my later years.

We went on a honeymoon in the south of the country to 5 different cities and it was special and raw.
We are back in the big city and will be looking for a new apartment in the next month.

How does it feel to be married? It feels natural, it feels great. A natural extension of our love. Will and can we have a child? It's definitely possible. I've always felt an enormous sadness that I wasn't able to get my life together 25 years ago and have a family of my own. Age is just a number, let's hope so.

We were not able to travel to Canada to have the wedding and a party with my family as planned because of the virus, but as my aunt said to me "that virus was the only thing that could have kept me away" from sharing the moment with my wonderful family.

What now? Real life with a partner. We are a team and we make a very good one. My interests of photography and meditation feed my life these days and help me with all the stuff that usually challenges me in a foreign country.

To the women who have shared my life at some point in the past I feel a great gratitude. They have helped me grow as a man, and made it possible for me to be softer,  than my usual nature allows.

Somebody said to me today that Taurus guys feel like everybody that comes into their lives are almost resembling employees on a payroll, in other words, we are self absorbed. I think there is some truth to this. I think I'll try to be more empathetic and a good listener, but I will keep my eyes open to this real fault lurking in the wings.

Thanks to my good friends as well that have encouraged me on my 8 year journey of health and sobriety. Look what can happen when you put yourself in the right frame of mind, all sorts of good luck can come your way.

If you know me then you know that I have produced many photos of this Honeymoon trip and of my relationship in general on my social media. I'd like to take a little breather from that and just be in the moment for a while, but thanks for indulging me.

Rick