Time marches and we adjust

 The world as I knew it has imploded in the last couple of years ...(Since my last post)

My photography continues to keep me sane through some personal challenges and of course the bigger threat of nuclear war that is being dangled in front of us daily.

We are resilient creatures, and on a personal level I feel that a few brushes with death have made me a better person one would hope anyway.  That doesn't mean I'm so great, nor balanced or zen like.

I have some ideas for a story and ideas for future photo books and I've just moved to a new apartment that has some old world charm and enough room for a photo studio . These are some good distractions and will help me close the gap between living a happy existence moment by moment or worrying about lack of energy, aging and immunity issues.

I spend time thinking about blurring images, shadows and time; whether it really is linear...in life and in art.

Moving forward, there is karma to pay...the butterfly effect and surely some unexpected joy on the way.

And...I am teaching many students English for the 7th straight year.

It's all finite and we are moving around the sun at 67000 miles an hour right now. But so what.

2022 Happy New year!

Life is short and yet we don't seem to make the most of our time.

We are always looking for a way to self sabotage, to criticize ourselves. Our minds are constantly judging instead of being.

I hate it when I hear the new age mantra..."you are good enough just as you are" it seems so saccharine and ridiculous. However there needs to be more attention paid to this idea I believe.

This is a tough time for people with the never ending pandemic and the collective anxiety and the fear it is bringing. 

My wish for the new year is that people will stop living in fear and move closer to a place of hope and creativity and light.

On a personal level, I've somehow navigated my way into a wonderful life, slightly surreal at times, but fucking wonderful with many opportunities for happiness, right here in the present moment...and that's all I could have hoped for 10 years ago.

God bless and talk soon.

Rick 

Taipei 2022

Nite thoughts on art...

 Photography and time.

As I purchase and play with more cameras I feel like I'm looking for the perfect image. I'm looking for the image that will let me sleep easy at night saying I have done my best.

Capturing moments that will never be able to be repeated. Timelessness.

Is there a dark innocence in preserving moments in a world where nothing gets preserved.

Our minds, our home, our enemy. We are always looking to solve the next problem. There is no rest in that special space between.

How do we keep our minds pure? Pure and free like the Galapagos Islands were 30 years ago.

We can only search for a purity in our art, because achieving purity in our daily lives is next to impossible.

That's what I am going for, more purity in my photography, more honesty.

Hopefully just the search will be enough.

Thoughts.

Transformative

John O'Donoghue has a book about beauty that is very beautiful in itself. I ordered it on a whim from eBay.

He talks about the beauty of nature and landscape and how it nourishes us and can be transformative.

We need something to inspire us during this ongoing pandemic and nature is my go to friend.

Even just absorbing the fragrant mountain forest outside my back window for a few minutes, especially after a rainstorm can rejuvenate me in surprising ways.

It's as if that little moment has reaffirmed some inner belief about beauty and now I can go back to my usual day of thinking about what's next.

I have a great place but I long to live in a small town over here, free of cars and free of people. Solitude with my wife and a dog and my camera and a simple life...

Maybe I can make that happen in a couple of years. For tomorrow it's back to work wearing masks on the subway , not exactly the aesthetic that I crave but necessary in the short term.

Rick

Moods

Time although it doesn't really exist in the universe, seems to be working against me in mine.

Another birthday is approaching and physically I feel more strained. 

(Ive been reading Bukowski again so I might need to go on a good rant...My world is so good and with so much promise, albeit it seems slightly diluted...no booze, no weed, no concerts, no unpredictability... my adrenaline constantly being blocked by this fucking medication)

There I feel slightly liberated in the moment here...

Teaching is a strenuous job physically and mentally, and I can definitely say that after three years of delivering the education...I'm tired.

I'm conflict free and life is good in so many ways, I really shouldn't complain.

My photography continues to save my soul everyday. My marriage is going swimmingly. 

I love my life...however on my last day off I feel like complaining about something...You know the feeling?

This is why I meditate...this inability to just be and enjoy the moment.

I'm off to enjoy nature...maybe that will help with my mood...

The stories we tell...

 

The winter is coming here on this Island only 80 miles from the Chinese mainland.

We have done incredibly well with Covid, no new local cases in months and only 7 deaths in total.  Hard to believe really, although our mask wearing commenced a lot earlier than most countries and continues to this day.

My home country Canada is really struggling with Covid and there is a big resurgence in cases right now. This second wave has been lethal all over the world.

It's very hard to watch as the world struggles with this and the mental health challenges that it has created seem too numerous to put into words. I believe that a new age is upon us and not the new spiritual age that some have predicted...but a new age of fear and isolation. It can definitely be eased with love and understanding and mindfulness. 

It may last all of 2021 which would mean another year without seeing my family and friends in person, an inconvenience that would be minor actually compared to people who have lost loved ones or their businesses or life savings.

Like many of us I hope for the best. Let's hope a new president might ease world tensions as well, especially in this area where it is extremely tense right now, with Chinese jets flying our coasts daily and threatening a take-over.

On a personal front my marriage is going swimmingly well and my new apartment is bright and quiet and overlooks a wonderful oxygen giving tropical forest. My job is secure and I have no conflicts or drama to speak of. 

Reading back on some of my recent posts I seemed to be either very proud, or almost bragging about my photography and my long term sobriety. I don't think this lack of modesty is actually a good state of mind to be in.  I am humbly thankful for it all.

Stay well my friends.

Married at last...

I AM MARRIED!

Let me state the obvious, I have had quite a full life with many exciting and sometimes toxic experiences...but I was always single. When I came across the world here... before covid was even a thought, I didn't do it to find a wife, I did it to find a new adventure because I was bored in Toronto.

Coming here has been the challenge that ultimately worked out. From the time I met my wife, I found her to be honest and pure, I don't think she has lied more than a handful or times in her entire life, its just not part of her DNA. She accompanied me on my first live TV thing I was doing here to sell a product, it was hardly art, but because it was live to many locals,  I was super nervous. I looked over and in the wings watching was this new friend of mine.  From that point on I felt like maybe I needed to explore a relationship with this sweet girl.  She was 40 and I was 55, so I had no idea if this would be something that would be feasible here in the East.

However, it just grew to this beautiful friendship and although her parents were Taiwanese Muslims and very strict with her, somehow we have managed to tie the knot.  It feels great, and I hope I can remain strong and consistent and kind for her as I pass into my later years.

We went on a honeymoon in the south of the country to 5 different cities and it was special and raw.
We are back in the big city and will be looking for a new apartment in the next month.

How does it feel to be married? It feels natural, it feels great. A natural extension of our love. Will and can we have a child? It's definitely possible. I've always felt an enormous sadness that I wasn't able to get my life together 25 years ago and have a family of my own. Age is just a number, let's hope so.

We were not able to travel to Canada to have the wedding and a party with my family as planned because of the virus, but as my aunt said to me "that virus was the only thing that could have kept me away" from sharing the moment with my wonderful family.

What now? Real life with a partner. We are a team and we make a very good one. My interests of photography and meditation feed my life these days and help me with all the stuff that usually challenges me in a foreign country.

To the women who have shared my life at some point in the past I feel a great gratitude. They have helped me grow as a man, and made it possible for me to be softer,  than my usual nature allows.

Somebody said to me today that Taurus guys feel like everybody that comes into their lives are almost resembling employees on a payroll, in other words, we are self absorbed. I think there is some truth to this. I think I'll try to be more empathetic and a good listener, but I will keep my eyes open to this real fault lurking in the wings.

Thanks to my good friends as well that have encouraged me on my 8 year journey of health and sobriety. Look what can happen when you put yourself in the right frame of mind, all sorts of good luck can come your way.

If you know me then you know that I have produced many photos of this Honeymoon trip and of my relationship in general on my social media. I'd like to take a little breather from that and just be in the moment for a while, but thanks for indulging me.

Rick

Broken legs and marrying in a foreign land...

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Where to start? In December I made a left hand turn on my new faster more beautiful scooter. An Uber driver came out of nowhere and I was sailing through the stratosphere onto my head and ultimately onto my knee.  The result was a broken leg and a very long time off work. I will still need two subsequent operations to fix the knee.

Then came the Coronavirus.  There's nothing I can say about that.  Being only 80 miles from China it seemed that we were in big trouble but somehow the Government here were prepared because of the Sars outbreak a few years ago.  We are still wearing masks at work and on the transit systems, but we have been able to keep the numbers very low. 490 cases and 7 deaths.

Because of the situation, my marriage in Canada and wonderful party with my family, and trip up north in Ontario for my honeymoon , had to be cancelled.

Now, in the present moment...I am getting married for the first time in my life to my girlfriend Pauline of 2 and a half years.  Her family don't approve of their daughter marrying a foreigner as they are part of the small Taiwanese Muslim sect here.  That being said, it is happening anyway, we have the rings and I have booked my 2 week vacation in July...only a month and a half away. What's beautiful is that my family is incredibly supportive of my nuptials.

That is the update, not very eloquently communicated , but there it is.

I am incredibly grateful for many things in my life.  I survived what could have been a fatal crash and continue to thrive.  I have an amazing supportive family and some really wonderful friends back home.  Who knew when I left my life in Toronto a couple of years ago in search of something unknown..who knew that I would be at this place. It's actually quite beautiful despite the pain I have endured recently.

I try to keep my mind uncluttered with trivial issues and the blockages that pop up each day.  Everyone is getting older, it's surreal. Nobody wants to see Richard Gere at 70 (although that buddhist devil just had a little baby with his wife) and Isabella Rosselini looking like a great grandmother, but there is no way around it.  Forget about celebrities,  the mirror is speaking to me loud and clear..."better watch out for the skin deep."

Beauty is everywhere though. I am noticing it more and more in nature.  One of my new cameras is a medium format Fuji from the 80s, its quite large in your hand and they nicknamed it the Texas Leica.
That son of a bitch can take a sweet photo, images so pure and yet something is off... and that transcends the reality of the scene. I love it.

Nobody reads this blog but someday I will use it as a personal diary and self publish it with some photos or something.  No doubt it will be filled with stories about overcoming fear and searching for some kind of flow.  We have definitely heard that one before.

Bye for now.

The Drunken model

Warning:  This post is very trivial and touches on no new issues or existential solutions, but hey...it's my shit...

Let me express an ironic pet peeve of mine.
A model that I have tried to photograph twice now has both times cancelled our shoot (last minute) due to being out all night drinking. This is one of those things that really pushes my buttons.

I completely understand on the level that I was her and I know what can happen when a person starts drinking on a Friday night.  However the responsibility factor, and her lack of it is sickening.
The second time I actually said that I was concerned that she wouldn't be able to shoot on a Saturday morning to which she replied that it wouldn't be a problem. When the morning came she texted that she just woke up and was very sick and going to throw up. Then she meekly said that she didn't think that she could make it.

At the end of my drinking career I was a mess and close to death. This had progressed from a need to feel good and push it to oblivion levels...to drinking every morning, to finally drinking 24 hours a day for years.  I am very aware of where binge drinking can lead a person and usually it is not pretty.  For models apparently it's a cliche that they eat little and drink alot, sometimes missing assignments because of it.

A great book I read on female alcoholism in young woman was Smashed by Koren Zailckas...vivid and will knock your socks off.

She wants to shoot with me she says, she likes my work, I like hers...but I don't know how I am going to let her have the chance to do this to me again.  I probably will give her another chance because it's important that I do that for her as some people did for me. 

In terms of my photography, the photos are getting better. I am getting closer to where I want to be.  There are millions of photographers out there with all of these high quality cell phones now and I recognize that to succeed in this profession if that's my goal, I have to stick out and produce more than just another clear photo with a cute dog or cat. Every photo should link to a higher purpose. They should all link to my theme, my theme of either street or portrait or landscape photography. I love all three genres and I am not sure which one to concentrate on.

One thing is clear though and that's if I don't choose one and make that the thing, people will get lost and not be able to identify what they are seeing and what they ultimately like.

Are these things really important in the grand scheme of things. NO. They keep my mind occupied in a good way.

That's all for now.

Rick

Life Update September 2019

So much has happened since my last post.  I had an epic trip to Canada that was everything I hoped it would be. I rekindled old friendships and spent some quality time with my family. My favorite may have been just sitting on the dock in the morning at the old cottage and meditating and taking photos. There was one particularly touching moment when some ducks slowly swam bye when I was out there alone, and I teared up. It was strangely touching. I suppose I was crying over the pure beauty of the moment that I had been waiting so long to experience.



ricklynnphotography.com


I am back in Taipei and in the full swing of a new school semester, with new students and a new schedule. I have just moved from my beautiful studio to a much smaller apartment in  Da'an, which is this very cool area with more restaurants then one could ever experience, but I will give it the old college try.

My portrait work has been a source of pride this year as I have been able to find my way through the interactions with the models and come up with some interesting shots. It is sad that I will not have the studio to use right now, but it will ultimately force me to work in a different way. I am looking forward to shooting some photos in Da'an in the early morning with some models.

I suppose the big news is that I will marry my Taiwanese girlfriend next year in Canada and live back here in Taiwan. We have had a great friendship and it has been so effortless and honest, that I realized I needed to move it to the next level. Considering that she has never been outside of Taiwan or even on a plane in her life is very exciting.

 My family, especially my mother is embracing the idea, and I think the small celebration after the civil ceremony will be awesome. Our Canadian honeymoon will me great as we will stay in a boutique hotel in Toronto as well as my family's place in Leaside as well as at a cabin up north and my old cottage. So much to look forward to. Who knew that life truly could begin at 50....never mind 40.   At 40 I was a fucking mess. Children? I've always regretted not having any, so there may be an opportunity to try. If no children, well then a rescue dog or two for sure.

That's my update for you, whoever you are. Bringing home a paycheck and persevering in my art is rewarding. Much more rewarding than I imagined.

A quick post

I think it was Camus that said that life isnt about finding meaning, but instead coming to realize there is no meaning...is this the cosmic joke?

Obviously the meaning and the joy is in the flow moments and the moments of accomplishment and the connection with family and friends. Who knows?

We are all on this earth together travelling through space on this spinning globe and everyone seems to be in such depression and anxiety over the journey. Older people like myself find it hard to put all the pain behind them and just to enjoy the moments, although the Adrenalin isn't flowing like it used to. Thats probably because I take pills to block it...haha.

My life is so good here that I have trouble just flowing with it sometimes. No conflicts, no real problems. No negative influences. In the end I am left with a million opportunities and new relationships that are waiting. We can really start living after 40 if we can find the key.

Now its off to another week of work, but that is fulfilling in itself.  One month to Canadian vacation.

Ciao

Photography website is up and running

                               ricklynnphotography.com


I am going back to Canada for a three week vacation. I have been working hard here and have not had much of a mental break, so the timing on this couldn't be better.

I will spend a couple of weeks in Ontario...one week in Toronto at my Aunt and Uncles and then a week up north in the Orillia area, including a couple of days at my old cottage. I will then spend the last 5 days in BC, including a weekend with my close buddy Marc on Denman Island. I will keep my apartment here in Taipei and continue on with this life I have got going here. A life that I would describe as proportionately joyful and with a real shot at a happy ending.

So I just put a photography website together myself... because it was just time.  Not because I want to monetize my art, but because I want there to be a stable place to view my work before I can bring it to a gallery. There are some thought provoking shots in there that grab the viewer, so I am quite happy with the effort. Its a good beginning and I look forward to adding to this site.

I reached my 7 year sobriety birthday last month and its funny how the mind can play tricks on you. Not long after the 7 year mark, my brain started to say to me that maybe I am so strong now...that I could probably handle the occasional beer, and this way I would live normally again with all the possibilities open. It said to me that this would be my final hurdle that nobody thought I could scale, and after I proved them all wrong...I don't know...I would be getting fucked on a patio again.

Insidious, after 7 years and hardly any cravings or thoughts, this starts to tug at my consciousness. Danger...warning...man I had to really deal with it. I had to play the tape through and really get hard core with my mind. No it wouldn't play out like that, it never has...maybe a couple of months of normalcy would be followed by god knows what.

Its all part of the journey. I accept that this kind of inconsistency in my brain is going to happen once in a while, I just will not be a slave to it.

I am in control of my life...and it feels great. Well, in as much control as anybody can have in a world full of chaos. Controlled chaos.

Taipei you are incredible, she is incredible...but I need a short break man, over and out for now.

Honesty

This girl has been a wonderful friend and sounding board since I arrived here. This photo I took of her a couple of days ago with my new 50mm 1.4 lens. I love the way it blurs out the background and the photo really expresses an honesty I appreciate. It reveals something beautiful about her as a person.

Today was my birthday and it's late, but I wanted to express gratitude. For my health, for my wonderful family whose support has been humbling. Gratitude for my old friends and my job here that allows me to make a difference in children's lives.

Also I am grateful for 7 years of sobriety and all the wonderful choices and freedoms that I have had the opportunity to be a real part of. I am a very lucky man.

I will travel back home to Canada for a visit in July and I am excited to bring my camera and experience everything and everybody through new eyes.

Rick

Joan Didion and aesthetic lust in Taiwan

Its funny how I have come full circle with my new/old 35mm camera. My digital killer of a camera is so great, but I realized that nothing can really replace the look of film. This isn't my own isolated observation, it is the thoughts of many photographers. So long story short, I picked one up from a cool older eccentric of  a man and I love it. Here is an example of the different look that is possible.
So I will have a little arsenal going on, I actually have three here. I believe most photographers have many, however I don't want to become an obsessive about it. Lots of fun. Am I really saving the money that I had originally planned on?...no, but who really cares.

I have been reading a little Joan Didion who is just so real and accurate with her sentiment about everything from the 60s culture to dealing with grief...incredible woman. I have also been reading Augusten Burroughs who is so smart and funny and neurotic that it is always a pleasure to drop by to  his gay, cultured urban circus of a life. Its Burroughs book Dry which recounts his battle with alcoholism that I recently recommended to a close friend who has been battling against addiction for some time now. I have many ideas for this person and I hope I will be able to contribute to their future health and welfare, because the alternative is too sickening to think about. I am trying to break through to them as I write this.

Recently I have photographed one or two attractive models for a project of mine, and it has been one of those situations where you are not really sure what to do with the experience. Unfortunately in the old days of drunken parties and all night benders I accumulated a bit of a reputation as a player or certainly as a guy that loved woman. When you are hammered for 7200 days straight as I was...it is not going to be a situation where you invest in peoples personalities and integrity and you come out the other side smelling like roses yourself. Lets face it, its a fucking mess.

Revolving depression, guilt, shame and apologies, and too many nights spent simmering over things that nobody really cares about, that was my reality back then. There is no point in trying to live in the past repairing a reputation, I feel like the only way out has been to move forward one step at a time for many years now.  Back to my love for woman though. I grew up with three fantastic woman in my childhood house and I loved girls from a very early age;  kissing them and holding hands with them long before I think it was age appropriate. I appreciate woman now for much more than their playful aesthetic, but I still cant help feeling a little gobsmacked when I encounter the raw beauty full on.

 Humans gravitate towards beautiful things, its not a concept, its a fact. Beauty releases pleasure chemicals into our brains and we know in an instant whether a person is beautiful or not. We love people because of the way they make us feel...and because of my past obsession with this reality and my ridiculous need for male validation... that comes with getting looks from the opposite sex most of my life...I am totally screwed up on this level.

Beautiful minds also turn me on! Let me state that I'm surviving with a lot of balance now and that includes my personal relationships with women. I have a wonderful friendship in Taipei and I have been with only a couple of partners since arriving here in Taiwan, despite me embracing the fact that the Asian beauty here is abundant and crippling. I feel that this is an example of balance, but it is really not the example I should probably use.

Now as a photographer I have taken some very interesting photos this year and some of the best are portraits of women. I get so much pleasure from taking these photos. Not some soft core vacuous photos for Instagram, but some real photos of substance, and yes some with an undertone of natural sensuality. I made the decision to treat all of my models with integrity and with a professional touch so to avoid any issues or misunderstanding. So far I believe that each one of them has had a wonderful experience, or at least a tolerable one, they have been happy with the end product.

I am loving my photography. I have taken over 8000 photos in one year, and as I was explaining to someone, it really gives me a focus and keeps me out of potential trouble and yet....my mind wanders. I certainly don't feel like a man over 50 now,  I am still in awe, and yearning  and fixating and loving. I am still happy and unhappy in love and it is spectacular..

The key for me is to offer people something positive if they want to accept it and to never initiate any type of dishonesty or conflict. So far so good. Don Miquel Ruiz might approve, or maybe not, there is still the question of what to do with all this aesthetic lust and craving. Oh yeah, its a work in progress, and I may document it in 35mm...

Feb 21st, 2019

It's been over a year and the old man is still rocking away...on some Island .

Yeah It's been over a year in Taiwan and It is full speed ahead. Well lets consider the fact that there is not much speed going on here at all. My sobriety has almost reached the 7 year mark and that is still really hard to believe , because that situation was so dark and so all encompassing.

I have signed a new contract and have passed a new medical exam so I will officially be here until 2020 now. Why leave? Taipei is such a great city. Sure we have Typhoons and Earthquakes and summer humidity that makes you want to cry, but I do love it. My personal Chinese lessons will begin tomorrow night and I am hoping that I will receive the tools that I have been lacking, because my Chinese language skills at this point are piss poor.

The thing that really turns me on is my photography. I have a full studio setup in my loft apartment now, and the photos that I am able to deliver (via my 42 megapixel mirrorless baby) are quite interesting. Now in Toronto I was doing the odd commercial and I was sober but I was quite stagnant broke and miserable most of the time. It wasn't terrible , but I realized that I only had about 10 really strong years left so I better make some kind of a move. 

It turns out that action is the only cure... not sitting around chanting mantras or visualizing something. It's making a decision based on the data available and then just DOING IT.

I have had some challenges here. I had to have a small operation to fix a small heart situation that popped up, and the recovery went kind of wrong. I had to get cut open a second time and this time I was fully awake. This situation looks like it has resolved itself. 

Life continues to be very good. I am grateful and although I don't believe in God  these days, I feel that the Universe has aligned itself with my life in a way that is working quite well. 

I continue to teach children each day and it can get very tiring but I think I am making a difference. I am not the best teacher out there, but I really love it when I can connect and make a 7 year old laugh or have a couple of them chant my name when they see me. \

Personal life? Yes there is one. I will keep it private for now. I have been very lucky. The old man is still rocking away. New Orleans will probably win the super bowl, the Leafs are playoff bound and the Freddie Mercury movie just won best picture at the Golden Globes... Its unbelievable!!!

The puzzle is coming together magically...

These images are popping off the screen with my new camera. A little bit of timing and grace and a lot of technology.

Life continues to amaze me here in Taipei. My mother is coming to visit in two weeks which will be her first trip in many years to Asia, She is 74 and has expressed a wish to go on the back of my powerful scooter up the side of the local mountain..and I will carefully oblige. I anticipate her having a great time as long as I do my tour guide job and live with a little compassion.

After all the self help books that never really took me anywhere wonderful, I have come to the realization that nobody out there really knows anything. Nobody knows why we are rotating in space at 1000 miles an hour for absolutely no apparent reason. All the so called experts on meditation and reincarnation actually admit that they have spent many years trying to quiet their minds but haven't really attained it except in spurts. All the so called reasons as to why we are going to come back in a different form by way of Karma or go to heaven and live there like kings etc..all these ideas are pure conjecture and have not basis in fact.

What am I rambling about? We have to find a beautiful distraction or two or three and find a way to live with ourselves in harmony while we are here. This whole journey for us and for everybody throughout history maybe absolutely meaningless. Obviously I agree with the idea of  right action and not actually causing anybody harm while I am here.

However, in the context of finding meaning ...I am very glad to be doing something about it from Taipei, such an unbelievable life journey I am on here. Teaching these kids can be really great some days and the pure independence of this adventure is really the theme for me. I have maybe a good 10 years left of solid work years here and I can go in so many directions from there. Photographs have been a really fun thing. Helps me to not dwell on things like my Defibrillator and my heart issues or my constant battle ( now almost 7 years of Sobriety) with abstinence.

Let me pull a few more pieces of the puzzle together and a few more creative projects and personal relationships and we will have real liftoff of a life that I can actual be proud of after so many years of ..well...shame and sorrow.

Rick

Photographs are saving my life...

I'm obsessing with a full frame 42 MP mirrorless camera that I am going to get.  My photography game has started to become more proficient and I am really enjoying  just becoming immersed in taking some honest, striking images.

Taking these photos helps me forget about my age, or my physical limitations or my lack of real finances.  It is so damn therapeutic its ridiculous. Why didn't I pick up on this in my 20s when we had that darkroom.

Living here in Taipei is grand.  I am working my ass off teaching everyday, but I believe that I am making a difference in some students lives and they are enjoying me on some level.  Most days anyway, when I don't have to be this disgusting Dickens like taskmaster from hell.

I just watched an documentary on Henry Cartier Bresson that was incredibly inspiring.  He was called the most significant photographer of the 20th century and when asked about it he just modestly laughed and said it was just a bullshit label.

This weekend I will go for a train ride and stay over night in a modern hotel on a farm area in the mountains somewhere that I picked out of nowhere.  I am sure the photographs will be mouth watering, although does anybody really want to see another closeup of a tulip or a scenic shot of a mountain?

Its the shot of people that really gets you. You have a visceral reaction to human beings, and I love capturing them up close. Not to Dianne Arbus their asses, but to catch a moment without their ability to put up that mask.

Next week I will travel by high speed train alone to the south of Taiwan for a few days to take a rest and vacation by the beach which will be equally grand.

I have a great girlfriend who is sweet and honest and unpretentious but the issue remains that she is not allowed to travel with a man until she is married. So I will be travelling alone for the time being.

Here is a sample of a photo I shot that I love:

I have really done it

I haven't posted in some time. I have been living a wonderful life here in Taipei. All aspects of my life are going very well. I've worked hard teaching students from the ages of 4 to 13 and although it has had its challenging moments, my school is starting to consider me as a valuable Teacher in their system.

I've got a regular acting gig on live TV here as a CEO of a US skincare line. That's all I can say about it , but it has been a blast. I have been in a commercial as well.

I have also become more proficient at photography and have been working on project I am creating called Fierce Beauty where I have met and been photographing some interesting woman.

I have come in contact with some interesting people, but have been blessed to have met Pauline (that's not her Chinese name) who has been my balanced, honest and sweet friend and confident for six months now. I am very lucky to have her in my life here.

In the beginning I lived with some young Chinese students and shared everything. It was difficult for an older geezer like myself to adjust.  In the early days here there was nothing that was set in stone, I had no idea if I could get the right visa to stay here longer and pass the physical examination that was needed. I wasn't sure where I would work and whether I could sustain an income here. I had no idea man.

Really I just went with my gut in Toronto which said...You have to make a major change in your life man..There might not be much time for adventure left in your little world. I was in a rut and my life consisted of basically going on auditions and doing extra work and smoking great pot all the time. It wasn't very fulfilling to say the least. 

So I took a chance and made a physical move to Asia on a hunch and it has been fantastic. I have earned my own studio on a rooftop of a building near the coveted 101 building and I love my area. My chinese still is awful but I am learning slowly...Very slowly.

I take it one day at a time with gratitude...however I would say that buying self help books and smoking dope but never actually physically making any big moves was not the answer for me. You have to actually make the move.. Do it . 

So life is good. This is the life I was meant to be living. From this place I can figure out the other big questions. Who knows, I may even start my own family at my old age. What a transformation that would be. Lets see how that plays out.

Bye for now.

Rick

It's Working Well....

I'm convinced that all of these self help mantras I've read over the years that spoke about   

manifesting your destiny...ultimately amount to nothing without the absolute key, which is ...take an action.

Make a decision outside of your usual locked in daily thinking and fantastic
results will occur.

Coming back to Taiwan has resulted in amazing moments and feelings of fulfillment. I have been challenged here as original plans and jobs fell through. So what...plan B...

I perservered and moved to Taipei alone and now I am teaching full time and doing acting gigs on the side...
The acting gig I've done three time as a CEO of a skin care line on live tv here has been an absolute blast.

I have a good female friend here who has been an amazing supporter so far and I've been able to battle through some colds and toothaches and fatigue... and amazingly I am still standing.

These are good days! New worlds are starting to open and now I am just waiting for the right visa to come through so I can make a bigger mark.

Life is fresh and surprising again and I am very grateful.

Stay tuned..

Rick

Moving your body across the world

I have had a good solid year of small acting gigs (Own network and Reelz) and background acting gigs on Designated Survivor and Suits.

So it even seemed like an unlikely decision for myself to turn my back on this recent success and say..."why do I feel kind of dead inside?"  I realized I needed something exciting to happen. I needed something to change.

Why not make a change happen.  Here is the genesis of my idea to go back to Taiwan.

I had just completed a screenwriting online course and I was offered an ESL teaching course for 15 dollars. I thought, what a bargain, so before I knew it I had signed up. That got me thinking, "maybe I could teach in Asia again if I am physically fit enough and if I could scrounge up the cash to make it happen".

The next step was actually submitting my name for a job in China. I heard back from the school within an hour and they said I was shortlisted for the position. I started to get a bit of the old adrenaline flowing again. However the more I thought of China and its oppressive pollution in the cities that were being offered, the more I wasn't sure. Was I going for it or not?

I conferred with my friend Steve in Taiwan (on facebook) that I hadn't seen for 10 years, and he asked me why I wasn't considering Taiwan again?
Well, I really enjoyed Taiwan in my previous two trips but there was a bit of a sour taste left in my mouth because of the way I was deported due to a Visa overstay.

The more we talked, the more I realized that I needed to know someone, anyone... in a foreign country. It would be good to know Steve, he could help me get the scooter I needed, and to hookup to the phone system, and we could meet after class etc.

He assured me that there was a job waiting or several like it for a guy like me. That was it.  I arranged for a close friend to look after my place and before I knew it, I purchased that ticket online.

Holy shit, I have just committed to go teach in Taiwan, wow, Im over 50 now with a heart issue, am I out of my fricking mind.

No I hope not. I was waking up each day with a new bounce in my step. 22 hours away by plane was an Island the size of Vancouver Island with 22 million people.The cities I would be in Taoyuan is dirty, hot and industrial with the odd earthquake and typhoon.

This will be a great challenge. There is an opportunity to save a little money for my new investment account that I have opened. I need to have some type of investment to fall back on. Living paycheck to paycheck sucks.

Would you decide to go from a balanced but slightly unfulfilled life to a life on the set of the real life blade runner?

I have also been in contact with some acting and modelling agencies in Taipei and they are interested in meeting me. I believe that a older white guy who can still occasionally bring the goods, might be in demand there. I love teaching the kids so that part is always very fulfilling and should take care of itself on the emotional meter.

That's the story though. I will miss all my close friends (including a  very sweet and sexy woman I have been dating)and supportive family, after the initial stunned response, everyone  has been very supportive. 

I am off for a quick dental surgery to remove my wisdom tooth in the next couple of days and then it is the final preparations to move this old body across the world. Wish me luck. If it doesn't

work out as smoothly as I have anticipated, let it be noted here that I needed to break out of my doldrums and take a chance again.

Rick