Warning: This post is very trivial and touches on no new issues or existential solutions, but hey...it's my shit...
Let me express an ironic pet peeve of mine.
A model that I have tried to photograph twice now has both times cancelled our shoot (last minute) due to being out all night drinking. This is one of those things that really pushes my buttons.
I completely understand on the level that I was her and I know what can happen when a person starts drinking on a Friday night. However the responsibility factor, and her lack of it is sickening.
The second time I actually said that I was concerned that she wouldn't be able to shoot on a Saturday morning to which she replied that it wouldn't be a problem. When the morning came she texted that she just woke up and was very sick and going to throw up. Then she meekly said that she didn't think that she could make it.
At the end of my drinking career I was a mess and close to death. This had progressed from a need to feel good and push it to oblivion levels...to drinking every morning, to finally drinking 24 hours a day for years. I am very aware of where binge drinking can lead a person and usually it is not pretty. For models apparently it's a cliche that they eat little and drink alot, sometimes missing assignments because of it.
A great book I read on female alcoholism in young woman was Smashed by Koren Zailckas...vivid and will knock your socks off.
She wants to shoot with me she says, she likes my work, I like hers...but I don't know how I am going to let her have the chance to do this to me again. I probably will give her another chance because it's important that I do that for her as some people did for me.
In terms of my photography, the photos are getting better. I am getting closer to where I want to be. There are millions of photographers out there with all of these high quality cell phones now and I recognize that to succeed in this profession if that's my goal, I have to stick out and produce more than just another clear photo with a cute dog or cat. Every photo should link to a higher purpose. They should all link to my theme, my theme of either street or portrait or landscape photography. I love all three genres and I am not sure which one to concentrate on.
One thing is clear though and that's if I don't choose one and make that the thing, people will get lost and not be able to identify what they are seeing and what they ultimately like.
Are these things really important in the grand scheme of things. NO. They keep my mind occupied in a good way.
That's all for now.
Rick
