At an acting workshop this weekend there was a lady with 40 years in the casting business who was saying some very nice things about my appearance in front of 23 people. "Now Rick is a very good looking man, we need men that look like this"... It really fed my dwindling sense of confidence as I was surrounded with so many passionate and gifted 20 somethings.
My acting had been mediocre that day, i will blame it partially on nerves, but I just wasn't very good. There were others there that had that special something that made you take notice. Why did I wait so long to actually study this craft? I always found it so interesting and such a good way to analyze how you deal with feelings and movement and speech.
(A couple of weeks ago, I had my craziest audition yet. I was thrown into the role of a Therapist, and my young Asian patient was very upset. Apparently I was behaving inappropriately. In the second scene she pretended to bind my hands up before losing her mind and slitting my throat. Talk about adrenaline. She was great in the role and got 3 callbacks before ultimately losing the role to another actress. In the last part, the British director was saying to me..."now beg for your life" )
Now I damn well know that looks fade, and that in my 50s, in a world that feeds so much upon consumption and image, I am a goner in the near future at best. That's where the actual craft comes in dumbass. (Never mind that I always worry if my weak heart will be able to perform under the injection of adrenaline that these auditions in front of a group can bring)
I have decided to follow this course up with another one that focuses on something called the Meisner technique, which is all about listening to your scene partner and a kind of sinking into the moment. There is also alot about repetition. Repetition when I blew my memory out with Alcohol many years ago.
For me, this is all new, and I will try to just focus on learning my lines and delivering them at this point.
I move into a new apartment in the next month and that brings with it a sense of the new and fresh. In a strange twist of fate, my building is close to my old high school. Bizarre, but the least of my worries.
I am still feeling lucky and grateful for the opportunities after so many life and death experiences in the last decade. This should be fun.
My writing is on the dull side today, but I wanted to just get something down, complete something.
One final note, I am thinking that my new space in the city will be filled with jazz and classical music and exotic foreign films. This idea excites me going forward.
Peace out from Orillia Ontario,
Rick
