In the background after taking a good hour to digest the beauty...I am listening to Pema Chodron the Buddhist talk about Shenpa.
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Shenpa being the attachment of the mind to things and emotions..not just attachment...but the hook they have over you..
.She talks about a feeling that we automatically close up when faced with one of these hooks..
I know that I personally get sucked into a vortex of revolving thoughts about obligations, guilt, food, sex, abstinence, and a plethora of others.
She talks about being gentle with ourselves...we apparently say hundreds of negative, critical things about ourselves everyday and for me.. this has to be recognized and softly changed in order to have a certain freedom of the mind and soul.
For me, I have a deep feeling of shame and guilt for not living up to a certain projected life or potential. This hits me alot...paralyzing me with fear.
One way to help with this is to practice something called.."one at the beginning and one at the end" Simply explained..its about setting intentions in the morning (whether spiritual or not) and reviewing your day at night..without being too brutal on yourself.....The real magic of this act lies deep within the ritual..Good things start to happen...a contentment... a peacefulness....or just more feelings of failure to complete a special task..I am not sure yet.
I have alot of empathy for all of us who are faced with suffering, guilt and feelings of inadequacy on a daily basis. It sucks and is not real..Our self perceptions are terribly skued.
Getting close to nature makes me feel so much love and connection though....but like most of us. the merrygoround of thoughts about food and my cell phone have started to swirl again.
I don't mean to complain..today I am happy out here.
Rick
